Attack of the Killer Banana

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Jaime Fradera
Senior Member

since 2000-11-25

Posts 843
Where no tyranny is tolerable

0 posted 2004-05-29 10:56 PM

Attack of the Killer Banana
A psy fye thriller
I'm on a boat
On the Gulf side of Florida.
Now there is nothing wrong with Florida,
Except maybe the voting machines.
And even then
It's mostly Dade and Palm Beach counties.
Well, anyway, as I say,
There's nothing wrong with Florida.
There's nothing wrong with even being in Florida.
Florida does have people.
In fact,
Some people work
And even actually live in Florida.
But back to my somnambulist dream/story ...
I'm sitting on this boat.
Someone hands me a banana.
I eat the banana and get sick.

I am in the broadcast studios
Of ZBS Media in New York.
It is almost time
To do the ZBS evening news.
The clock ticks down.
We have to pick a story
To lead off the program.
We pick the banana story...
Good evening ...
This is the ZBX evening news,
With safltr dlundoke.
In the news tonight ...

A big banana tycoon,
The top tomato of the banana industry,
Took a banana boat
Down to a banana republic.
He bought one banana and came home.
On the way
He ate the banana and got sick.
Doctors in Miami save his life.
Across the country
People have been sickened
And some have even thought they died
After eating Chiquita bananas.
And even calling 911
To report they are deceased.
The government has ordered
A massive and unprecedented
recall of all bananas.
In all the major cities,
Millions of Americans
Are causing traffic jams at grocery stores,
Trying to turn in their bad bananas,
Since the bad ones
Can't really be distinguished
From the good.
They authorities have a theory.
They think the culprit
Is a nasty little organism
That lives inside bananas.
It has the scientific name
Fundus, Bacillus Bacilicas.
They think the organism got started
In the lofts of churches and cathedrals.
The news is over
And I go home.

And Zena is there.
She hands me two slips of paper,
Which she says are a million dollars.
I tell her:
Did she watch the ZBX nude?
The story about the bad bananas?
The nude, you know ...
Like Midnitesun does,
How I call new and news nude?
Like, the Jim Leah Nude Hour?
Like, reading the nudepaper?
Like listening to NPR nude?
Like wearing nude clothes?
Like Cable Nude Network?, etc?
Zena shudders with convulsive laughter.
She says there is a widespread fiction out there
Where people think they have to peal bananas.
Then I shudder with convulsive laughter.

Maybe,
Instead of throwing apples and oranges,
We should try throwing rotten bananas.

So, what do you think?
Have I lost my bananas ...
Or maybe just my marbles?

SC

Banana banana banana,
Beware of the Killer Banana ...

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

1 posted 2004-05-30 01:07 AM

Tee Hee -- you be the top Banana.

Susan

The whole of the Universe resides within each individual heart.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2004-05-30 01:11 AM

We can only hope that you didn't lose your banana...news at 10...James

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-05-30 01:48 AM

nothing wrong with Florida

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

4 posted 2004-05-30 10:09 AM

As a native Floridian, haling from Orlando, all I have to say is,,,
you're nuts,,,
lol, altho, I do like the line that has mention of the tomato,,,it's only fair to give props to the king of killer food,,,

Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2004-05-30 10:10 AM

Jaime, put down that banana! LOL, maybe take those headphones off and stay away from the nude hour for a couple of days until the coast is clear, er, at least until all the bananas are safely back on the boat anyway. Have you tried plums as a defense/diversionary tactic? LOL

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

6 posted 2004-05-30 11:41 AM

I just watched Attack of the Killer Tomatoes yesterday for the first time.
I'd say the banana's are scarier...
too many nude people lol

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Joyce kilmer

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