Open Poetry #32 |
Seasoned Wood Burns Clean |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
“This is a day I am glad to live where there are trees” Blank eyes struggled to understand But I sat quietly watching the sun change Again the shades of green from yellow To that tinged with darker edges of red And thought about the ways in rustles and sway I let them hypnotize me into forgetting At least for some suspended moment The things which crowded my own rats maze Of day to day “That’s a bit too artsy for me.” I laughed and shrugged As I let my eye scrape against the shadows That lined the underside of leaves And captured what I from surface scratched As if a drug Injected calm Some deviant high I found In watching the sun set and colors change “Probably nonsense anyway.” I shrugged just as the last claws of sun brought blood to fading blue and I began to compose in my head the story of how it was that once upon a sunset I watched out a window as a different world turned its face inward again and I felt her soft hands on my bared back then a chin on my shoulder whispering words that I had repeated “This is a day I am glad to live where there are trees” How many years now have passed since then? But still I stare at trees And remember you |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
and I began to compose in my head the story of how it was that once upon a sunset I watched out a window as a different world turned its face inward again and I felt her soft hands on my bared back then a chin on my shoulder whispering words that I had repeated “This is a day I am glad to live where there are trees” How many years now have passed since then? But still I stare at trees And remember you ~*~ I always enjoy the soughing sounds... this is no exception, in that it is exceptional, itself. |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
I rarely know what to say. I just feel wrong not commenting. It deserves acknowledgement of how much it touches even if I don't have the words. So thank you again for a beautiful poem. Lovely. |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Incredible wording and description. One for the shelf, indeed! WOW! Sadie [This message has been edited by Sadelite (05-21-2004 04:02 PM).] |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Excellent! Very nice! JL She said: ”You look cute in the dark.” |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I am just going to sit here and 'feel' this one. Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron "But still I stare at trees And remember you" You touch me, every time! |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
This has some really great images. I enjoyed the reading of it! I'm sitting here letting it soak in shaking my head. Robert and yes...seasoned wood does burn clean. I know that well. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Wow..I love it when people are like that.. I feel the same way. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Do you know? I read you, and the way I want to write changes... you write the silences so well. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awesome! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
But I sat quietly watching the sun change Again the shades of green from yellow To that tinged with darker edges of red And thought about the ways in rustles and sway =================================== As I let my eye scrape against the shadows That lined the underside of leaves And captured what I from surface scratched As if a drug Injected calm Some deviant high I found In watching the sun set and colors change ======================================= just as the last claws of sun brought blood to fading blue ============================= the way you do imagery dressed emotion makes me high... nothing "deviant" about it.... poetic --yesssssssssssss. and me??? I'm always where the trees are. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Artsy or not, life often is a rat's maze of awareness. It is good that the trees remember; human awareness is too flighty most of the time. Somehow, some way I can not define, this work lifted me this morning. Thank you. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Breathing this one in, absorbing the exquisite flow of a remembered feeling, drawn from the depths of my memory banks by your incredibly beautiful write. I'll savor this for a long time, and feel it each time I gaze at trees. (and I am surrounded by trees these days )Thank you, Ron. |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
“This is a day I am glad to live where there are trees” How many years now have passed since then? But still I stare at trees And remember you ~~ Thank you for this.... ~~**~~ |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Rich, gorgeous writing, Cpat. Some things will always remain. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Good God! I felt this one, every word. Sigh Ron, thank you! Maree. P.S. sending it to my library. The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Almost 2 weeks is too long. I know you are out there reading. So how about givin' us a fix? "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I'd started out quoting an early verse and commenting on how JM's cloud pics of late, have me feeling like a tree hugger myself... Then, I read this... "just as the last claws of sun brought blood to fading blue and I began to compose in my head the story of how it was that once upon a sunset I watched out a window as a different world turned its face inward again and I felt her soft hands on my bared back then a chin on my shoulder whispering words that I had repeated “This is a day I am glad to live where there are trees” How many years now have passed since then? But still I stare at trees And remember you" ...and I remembered what it is about your words that captures me, everytime. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Your imagery simply shines out of the page -- I never read a poem of yours without learning something about the art, along with the pleasure of looking out through your eyes for a moment. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Ace! regards sudhir |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
As I let my eye scrape against the shadows That lined the underside of leaves And captured what I from surface scratched As if a drug Injected calm Some deviant high I found In watching the sun set and colors change I do love you, you know. I'm always in awe. and i never know what to say. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
And thought about the ways in rustles and sway I let them hypnotize me into forgetting At least for some suspended moment The things which crowded my own rats maze Of day to day bless those wooden soldiers; personally if not for them; i think i'd lose all sanity completely some days |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
just as the last claws of sun brought blood to fading blue and I began to compose in my head the story of how it was that once upon a sunset I watched out a window as a different world turned its face inward again and I felt her soft hands on my bared back then a chin on my shoulder whispering words that I had repeated “This is a day I am glad to live where there are trees” And this is a day I am glad to live where there are poets... this is striking in its excellence, my friend. *S* |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Beautiful write! Very much enjoyed ~P |
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