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Open Poetry #32
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Circles
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Circles |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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Circles of sorrow; spirals of pain Winding away and then back again Forgiving the past but cannot forget When each step I take is filled up with regret Just when I think that the circle is broken The arc closes up when more harsh words are spoken Leading me back to the place I'll remain Walking those circles of sorrow again A head that's bowed down and my hands at my back I find I am bound, by the things that I lack No inspiration to help me move on And all my resilience and courage is gone Walking in circles along sorrows path This is the outcome of love's aftermath Too many hurts have been pushed to the fore And now I'm repeating what's all gone before I follow the circles creating a rut And keep walking round with pain in my gut I can't see the future my past I would leave I veer to the left in the path of deceive And walk constant circles; I'm lost to new ways Will this be my pitch till the end of my days? This sorrow o'ertakes me and all that is left Is to walk in the circle, alone and bereft The rut becomes deeper the more that I walk Until it's an effort to breathe, move or talk I once walked this path in the hope it would save But circles of sorrow lead me to my grave Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Good grief! Get out of there! That is a horrible way to spend YOUR time in this life. This is such a sad, sad story. I hope this is not a true story. God bless you. “The rut becomes deeper the more that I walk Until it's an effort to breathe, move or talk I once walked this path in the hope it would save But circles of sorrow lead me to my grave” Too Sad. JL  She said: ”You look cute in the dark.” |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hey sweetie... You know how to break this cycle... and I know you know...  Ok, now...deep breath...shake the muse...let the words fall where they may... |
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LucidityNow Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118Canada |
What a work of art, really, I'm a huge fan of dark poetry, and this is amazing. and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Gosh Kethry I hope you're doing okay! ~Smiles & Heart Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yaknow Kethry, I can understand this with a passion...very deeply |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kethry~ You pen from the depths of a dark inkwell~ I wish you were here ... I do ! Love you ... write me~  *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Wow, soooo sad. I know those circles. They tend to encircle me on occassion. Thank heaven you need only reach out a hand -- someone will pull you out!  Susan |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
You wrote this well... Many can relate. Stillness at times is powerful write the stillness... Hugs, TD |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Have I told you Lynne, that you're one of my favourite poets? Amazing you are, and yes I also think... How lucky am I... I know her too. Hope you're ok It's a keeper. Maree The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colours, but the sea, does not change. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Kethry -- there's not much I can add to all the comments above (with which I am in total agreement) -- except to say save yourself! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Hey Keth, this one is good. It shows depression at it's worst, a total repetition of mindless yuchh. These two lines, "And walk constant circles; I'm lost to new ways Will this be my way till the end of my days?" you have 'ways' and 'way' too close together. You need to change one of them. Maybe make the second one 'path' or 'trail' or 'fate' or something. 'Ditch'? Hey, my sister didn't go to church last Sunday, so naturally everyone asked me why she wasn't there. So naturally I told them. She lost her teeth and can't find them. So now she's trying to think of some horrible revenge. But I know she won't bite me! Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Thanks everyone, news of Jay is coming soon, after next week. Nan I didn't like any of your word suggestions but it did spin off to one I did like. Sorry to hear about your sister, being an old hag is a trial being a toothless old hag is a bigger one. When I don't go to church poeple ask my family where I am but they never ring and ask me...now isn't that strange? Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
"Walking in circles along sorrows path This is the outcome of love's aftermath Too many hurts have been pushed to the fore And now I'm repeating what's all gone before" incredible expression in this poem, its one i certainly understand in depth  |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Oh, Kethry... May someone come along and skip a rock across the pond of "Living Water." New circles, new sparkles glistening promise of Olympic proportion! (Regarding your wondering about not being called out of concern, sometimes, I think, in one's own feeling of inadequacy, when someone has left the flock, the group, it's like a rejection. The concern is there for the missing member, but the "self-preservation" overrides and takes away the ability to face that possible rejection.) Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
A head that's bowed down and my hands at my back I find I am bound, by the things that I lack No inspiration to help me move on And all my resilience and courage is gone You know how well I know this... I hope you know how these bound hands are holding yours at least in spirit. *S* Excellent write, my friend... you pen the darkness magnificently. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Kethry, this was simply an outstanding outpouring of the darkest kind of sadness. The circle of self-abuse is the worst one to break if the person does not have that confidence that they deserve more. Here's to anyone in this cycle and a sincere hope of them knowing they deserve better. Well done but then from you, would expect nothing less.  |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Kethry, You've so well expressed the motions, the feelings through geometric shapes. I could feel the spiral drilling a rut. I hope sunny days will come your way. Sadie |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Will this be my pitch till the end of my days? I feel this way, too ofen myself...I hope you have some good news of Jay soon and I will be praying for his well being and for all of you to come through this. A good solid poem as always, Lynne M |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Kethry...Such sad words but spoken in our minds by many of us from time to time. There is always a ray of hope to help pull us from this grave we dig for ourselves. Hope and forgiveness will lead the way...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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