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Open Poetry #32

My head

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

0 posted 2004-05-10 07:58 PM

My head my head
my painful head
the pain of the
fury and the pain
of the despair

The worn out old
clothes are still
there the stains
are clean but
it still sets in

The trouble I've
cause or what
I got myself in
the lines on the
table the scratches
the scars

The mentality of
it all has left me
so far the tears I
cry the pain I bare
seeing you so close
but not having you
there.

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2004-05-10 09:19 PM

Tho' not a happy topic, this was perfectly written -- congrats on a great poem. And, hang in there.

LucidityNow
Member

since 2001-02-06

Posts 118
Canada

2 posted 2004-05-10 09:24 PM

YES. I suggest to anybody reading this to go back and read that poem quickly and outloud (no breaks or pauses). I think that is how it was meant to be, with perhaps a slowing down for the last two lines. It conveyes the panic of despair perfectly. Great write.

and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

3 posted 2004-05-10 09:33 PM

thanks

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

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