»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #31
»
Prom Queen (Terza Rima- Shelley style)
| Open Poetry #31 |
|
Prom Queen (Terza Rima- Shelley style) |
|
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
|
1 The prom was to be held on Friday night And I had bought a dress of palest blue I looked into the glass and saw a sight A perfect night for making my debut My lipstick smeared a bit across my face My eyes were shaded with a sparkling hue My confidence was high and filled with grace I pranced before the glass and then stood still My fear and doubt had gone without a trace And I was filled with something for my will I'd given all I could and no despair Would claim this night from me to drink my fill Before the glass I raised my cup to air And made a toast - this night to never care 11 The ball was glittering with sparkling shine I heard the laughter ringing from the do Tonight I spent the cash to make you mine And I would win for I had dared to woo My dress and all it held was perfect song And made up to the nines was my first clue Upon this night not one thing could go wrong It was my night, a Cinderella time I would be safe in arms secure, and strong And dancing with the one I love - sublime Then I would know new love and feel its touch I would be his and he'd be ever mine I'd dreamed about this night so very much (Although he'd pay the bill, we might go Dutch) 111 The door is open and I'm waltzing through My feet don't touch the ground - I walk on air The glittering of dreams holds all I do And somewhere far away is my despair I see his face and give a little smile His eyes alight on me I see his care His handsome face stands out for many a mile And my heart melts to see him so arrayed But then his laughter cuts with bitter bile As laughingly he sees me there displayed He turns to all his friends; begins to brag He's not the prince for which I ever prayed I stumble home alone in spirit's sag A prom queen who forgot that (s)he's a drag Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Beloved one your writing is as always excellent, I love the progression through the poem and its is extremely funny, that last part simply cracked me up. What can I say that I haven’t already said, your writing is beautiful, and that you can manage comedy as well as beauty just shows how amazing you are. Beautiful work darling heart absolutely beautiful Love you always and forever Mushy  Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
How quickly dreams can turn from glitter to ground glass shards in the heart. *S* I like this so much, Kethry... all the anticipation... ending with the realization that he wasn't worth the effort... So poignant... and yet, we feel her strength doesn't need our sympathy. *S* Well written! |
||
|
Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Kethry, Wow... I don't know how to respond to this as i interpretted it a couple of different ways... I do think it's a pretty powerful write, one that leaves me thinking. You've done a very nice job setting the poem up so that the reader would feel it as it happened. I enjoyed reading this twice very much. Sadelite |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kethry He just wasn't the right frog. LOL Excellent write. |
||
|
Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Yes, there are plenty of turkeys around. A very good write. Shows talent with verse! Grover. |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big angel hugs) I never went to the prom to begin with as no one ever wanted to invite me and I asked some girlds and they denied me! (sad sigh) I suppose the last dance is meant to be saved outside of the festivity and just for that special someone, God Bless You, this was a most beautiful terza rima-rama, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Kethry, I love this form that you wrote this in. It looks very interesting. I like the way you write different forms of poetry. You are very talented. I also like the way your porm progressed from the beginning to the ending. I seemed to be able to see the events taking place as I was reading. really enjoyed this poem.  Hugs  Ethel |
||
|
Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Wow! You took me in, right to the end. I crashed when (s)he crashed. All that anticipation, to become a mockery. It hurts. I love the form. I've never written a terza rima, though I've liked all the ones I've read. Maybe I should try one. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Marsha, first with a word of praise again. Thank you love. suthern, this was for a challenge you had to describe your prom night...well I never had a prom, wrong age, wrong country etc. so I made this up. I'm glad you like it. Originally it was going to be a play on words with the last line but I think it works better with the (s)he thing. Don't you? Sadelite, your response is enough to send me to bed grinning from ear to ear. Thank you. Seymour, well maybe he was exactly the right frog, but one who could never be a prince. *Smile. Thank you Grover, thanks for the compliment. Noah,I'm sorry you never went to the prom. I'm sure if you had you'd have wowed them all. Thank you for responding. garysgirl, thank you. I like this form too but you know me I LIKE to play and this is very much playing, with both the form and the words. Nan, I can't wait to read your Terza Rima it will be fabulous I'm sure. Send me a link when it's done so I don't miss out. *HuGS Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Keth: My prom night? ROFL... I had pneumonia... 'nuff said??? LOL |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Kethry...Had to pop in and tell you this is FANTASTIC! Love it lady. Hugs~ ~ Is that love I see in your eyes... |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Kethry -- a shockingly good write! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
