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Open Poetry #31
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A Fickle Flame
| Open Poetry #31 |
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A Fickle Flame |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA 
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He writes: You know, you remember – clouds drifting by, making it difficult to distinguish at what point nightime sets in, sort of like that point when I felt you gone before I felt empty.” The candle now has burned so low and the light, it’s fire dim. The lateness of the hour does not bother him. For tonight, it was like Thursday, a phone call from a friend. A nothing conversation. But everything was said. And now, the fickle flame it shows the shadow on a pen And words on paper flowing out, like “dust that flies in wind.” “A Tumbleweed across the path” – that phrase pleases him. For how alike the weed and dust to words that she had said. |
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| © Copyright 2004 J.A.A.Powell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Too much, too late... I liked the interplay of thoughts, Jo. His, hers. This...was very good. I'd like to see more "conversations" from you, poetically, of course! |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
In a candle flame Dance Shadows In a heart dances Every moment and my reply will become another brief flight of Love Dave |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
i like this too...and the title of course!  |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Sunshine -- What a nice thing to say! I'll work on that and see what else comes out.  Dave -- I really enjoyed your response, thanks so much! Muted -- I appreciate titles, too. Glad you liked the choice, and I appreciated your stopping by and reading. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
this was written very cleverly in a short piece, much of the story can be seen |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Inkedgoddess -- not much to the rest of the story -- yep, pretty much all said. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it very much. .....jo |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
read this twice - at different times - said nothing and find myself back again without the words to say what I want to say - find myself amazed at that because I'm never without words to write (to speak maybe, but not to put on paper). I guess, in itself That say's everything I feel the need to say, but can't. Hope you understand. jimmy |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Jimmy, thanks a million for that comment. You got the point. |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Iliana, This is a beautifully sad one. I bet this is about a young lady very close to your heart. I hope all goes well. Sending my thoughts and love. Sadie |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
The words paint a clear picture of feelings.. Nice use of metaphors....:-) Now I want to know what happens next...but I guess that is another story (poem) enjoyed ________ice ><> |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Such an intimate write. I felt privy to a private conversation. Very effective ~ and moving! Huggums, EA |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Sadie -- No, this is just my own musing, not related to the NY story. Thanks for reading! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Ice, thanks so much for your response. We'll see, perhaps there will be more -- it's going to depend on my muse, I think. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Earth Angel -- Your comments meant a lot to me. Thanks. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big angel hugs) Oh Jo, your poetry always speaks straight from the heart as though you are sitting at that desk alone in the place of the poet, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jo, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Thanks so much Mistletoe Angel! Hugs to you! |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I like this, The split of stanza with the differences of style Really sets them each off well. Gloom |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I really enjoyed this write iliana. hugs, Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
i too read two times and was at loss for words as i felt i have been there before. thankyou for sharing |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Gloom, Chris & Mgroves -- thank you all so very much for your thoughtful reading and comments! .......jo |
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