Open Poetry #31 |
Incomplete (Lesson of Shadows) |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
She asked if I had a knife And when handed the small Single bladed one I carry Begged me stand silent Then began to cut the edges of my shadow As it lay in front of me Outlined I wondered if when done She planned to peel it off the ground And roll it up to carry home Perhaps to take bites from later When she hungered for some part of me Darker than the face I show As she traced my thighs on sand I felt the urge to move Uneasy it felt As if being made a part Of earth I could never leave Her smile un-nerved As it grinned from a tip of tongue Protruding from lips that drew their own lines And a brow wrinkled As it were being contracted into itself She finished And asked to step away My feet found new purchase on a stone Half yard wide and two feet left of where I in fact had begun. “Now, you are.” She said As I let eyes follow the shape of pale She so aptly had drawn “Without you in between the sun and ground it lies empty.” She said. I nodded once in wait for more Her feet found the marks of mine And she tossed the knife at my feet “Now,” she whispered “Outline mine and see how I can fill only a part of you” "The rest is yours to define" [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (02-18-2004 11:05 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
you have left me speechless....I will be back to enjoy.. again..and again. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat, One of your best and a keeper. Enjoyed. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Gads... I'm keeping this one. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
yep, one of your best ... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
As she traced my thighs on sand I felt the urge to move Uneasy it felt As if being made a part Of earth I could never leave =========================== As I let eyes follow the shape of pale She so aptly had drawn “Without you in between the sun and ground it lies empty.” She said. ================= “Now,” she whispered “Outline mine and see how I can fill only a part of you” "The rest is yours to define" ==================================== Holy moth moly ... ... me thinks I just stuttered. YES.... GADS~~~~~~~~~~ *shaking me mothy head at you* be it metaphor, a memory, or a mix of both... this is ... ... ... As if being made a part Of earth I could never leave Without you in between the sun and ground it lies empty.” GADS & YOWZERS!! Well I cant say what I might believe ... |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Very cute write! Love, Margherita |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
incredible |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
OMG !! I am speechless and will have to come back.... ~~**~~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron You are so beautifully deep...loved the whole idea of this ...and would like to have thought of it. So original! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
“Now,” she whispered “Outline mine and see how I can fill only a part of you” "The rest is yours to define" This explains everything!!! My tiny shadow is always filled to overflow with the shadow of a man..and I am always struggling to free myself... Okay, so maybe that isn't what your point is.. This was wonderful. "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Without you in between the sun and ground it lies empty.” Indeed indeed! This is definitely a keeper. Excellent. Maree Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
library ~~**~~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, my! *S* Wonderful write... the ending is simply stunning! *S* |
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