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Teen Poetry #7
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Ice Dreams.
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Ice Dreams. |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Even though you’re here… I’m still alone...in my head. Still...surrounded by those icy cliffs... Giant walls so high... Impossible to escape. A question has arisen... Why is the ice black? I look around... And that’s all I see... A black nothingness… I scream...and it echoes, But still no one hears me. The vibrations from the sound Collide into me, And I fall….to the ice-covered ground. Knocked unconscious my mind swirls… I see bodies swimming everywhere… They look at me, With the greatest sadness in their eyes, “We’re sorry…but you’re trapped…like us.” I join in the mass, But still it seems... That I’m the one left swimming alone. “What’s happening?!” I scream. “We’re sorry…but you’re trapped…like us.” They repeat. “Stop saying that….I want to leave.” “You cannot.” “But why?” I ask so desperately. “Because, like us, you…are another lost soul, Forever to be trapped, in this thing called oblivion.” "I...I bleed...For no one..but myself...For me and no one else!"~ MudVaYne |
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| © Copyright 2004 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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TheGirlNoOneKnew Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 92PA, USA |
Excellent work on this. It had a great use of imagery and dialogue...very vivid and real. Keep up the good work! |
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TigerZ Member
since 2002-01-02
Posts 83Ontario, Canada |
You are truly an amazing poet. I look out for you work everytime i visit this site and i am never disappointed with what i read. In fact, i get goosebumps most of the time. The imagery in this piece was just incredible. As was said already, it was so vivid. Magnificent job! A life without love…is no life at all. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
i enjoyed this one greatly. great imagery. the only thing that i didnt like that much was the end. i thought that it was too...simple. maybe you should just leave where the person is a mystery. it was vey good though. good work! -alex |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I think this is one of the best pieces I have read by your. Theres so much helplessness. So much being lost. Excellent writing ~Lex |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
This poem was EXCELLENT! Good job. I really like this one a lot...I'm gonna put it in my library! ~Jess  Kiss, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for bliss. |
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Sass Junior Member
since 2003-05-10
Posts 21 |
Your imagery is awesome. I know everyone has said that, but wow. Amazing! Great job. I like the ending. It was really powerfull. ~Kassi |
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