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Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

0 posted 2004-03-02 09:49 PM

our smile lights up my black heart
and your voice saves me from this tasteless coma
your eyes are my oblivian
i run my thumb softly upon your most gentle lips
silk does not compare to your skin
beautiful hands with most gracious fingers
i can only pray to hold your hands
the white rabbit says time stops for you
you could walk on water if you wanted to
wine glasses filled to the brim with my blood
solute to the night, to my hopeless love
i wont give up until the day your kiss kills me
let me die happy
if you get cold ill take off my skin for you
then youll see your name carved in my heart
overflowing with scars from everytime you speak her name
let me be your adoration
if you allow it ill be the wind in your hair
the ground beneathe your feet as you walk in your favorite shoes
your slightest breathe is music to my ears
i only sleep prechance i dream about you
oh, i am so in love with you
won't you hold me tonight ?

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2004-03-03 08:48 PM

no replies?
this is morbidly great.
glasses of blood.
take off your skin to warm.
good. really good

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

2 posted 2004-03-03 09:37 PM

This is awesome! I loved the entire thing. It flowed well, just everything was good. Great write, and thanks for the read.
Jen

Everything gets better in the end, and if it's not better, it's probably not the end.

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

3 posted 2004-03-03 09:39 PM

Thanks SOOOO much

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

4 posted 2004-03-03 10:28 PM

This is beautiful. Absolutely.

I only have one complaint: being the control freak perfectionist that I am, I most of the time don't even read stuff that has grammatical/spelling errors. It always seems to me that if the writer cares about their poetry enough to want me to care, they ought to edit it.

Of course, that's my perfectionistic opinion.

But the poem itself... I loved.

-Lioness

Sweetest Sorrow X
Member

since 2004-01-19

Posts 146
From a cradle to a casket

5 posted 2004-03-04 02:22 PM

Yes...Ive learned to start checking.

I_dont_know_me
Junior Member

since 2003-12-08

Posts 48
UK, Cymru

6 posted 2005-01-24 08:50 AM

wow wow wow wow wow wow wow thats all i can say i kn it was psoted ages ago but i thought id let u know people are still reading your poetry

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

7 posted 2005-01-24 03:11 PM

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

8 posted 2005-01-28 11:07 PM

weird and dark. i liked it =)

At least we're still friends! At least we're still alive!--Alkaline Trio

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

9 posted 2005-01-30 04:33 PM

wow...I'm absolutly speechless.

AIM-blueyed angel940
One day u'll ask which is more important,u or my life. I'll answer my life and u'll walk away never knowing u are my life.

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

10 posted 2005-02-14 02:11 AM

Good...really good.

"Then you'll see your name carved in my heart"

Powerful...

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

Jezzika
Member

since 2005-01-05

Posts 154
work

11 posted 2005-02-16 12:41 PM

Wow this was really good.... i really liked it.... Normally when i read a poem i look at parts i like better than others but i LOVED the whole thing. Amazing poem

Jezzika

you know he really wants me

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