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Teen Poetry #7
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Shuyin’s memories; A thousand dreams
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Shuyin’s memories; A thousand dreams |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk 
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I know that your hurting These tears tell your lies Really you needed me But truth was hard to find. Towards the end You acted so distantly Before you left pushed me away Spent your last moments alone Running through our memories A thousand dreams inside. Thinking back through the ages Wishing words had been better spoken Instand of our hearts taken Now tears fall from my eyes. We were always together Never through you’d be further away Than you are now Taken from me by the war You left to fight my battles Instand of staying within my arms. I followed you Protected you along the way But at the ends of our dreams we met Once more you were in my arms again Till bullets tore our souls apart Separated us as death killed us both. I know someday you’ll come back to me Someday you’ll return to me Holding onto our memories A thousand dreams inside. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lee Hepworth - All Rights Reserved | |||
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muchos Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 102 |
this was a very beautiful piece. death and love, dreams it was all just there. i followed it well. it didnt flow that smoothly but none the less who needs a rythm? i like this piece a lot. write more. Yours truly Ashley |
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dodge_chick2003 Member
since 2004-01-18
Posts 136California |
Didnt flow good. yea it did. I loved it...wow...i am still thinking about ow much i liked this very good |
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CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248 |
i agree, it was a little rocky with its flow, but otherwise a good write, and a good read. emotions dont always flow well. _keryn |
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SwT DeViL Junior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 26London |
hey this was really good it had everything in it about love, life, death...but the flow....erm you can improve that ***...$wT DeViL...*** |
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lace_of_light Junior Member
since 2006-08-02
Posts 44 |
this is exactly what i'm in right now. this poem describes my life perfectly. i wish i had half the talent you have. it's hard to find poetry that i relate to but your poems are always perfect for the situation for me. ~Thanks a million plus two~ "areyouinorareyouout? eitherwayyoucan'twin." he said. "butthefallwillbefantasticandwhat'sleftisnothinglessthanperfection" |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
wow. this was...wow amazing piece. wonderfully written Great job i cant wait to read more of your work |
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