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Teen Poetry #7
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aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia

0 posted 2004-08-23 07:57 AM


this is a vent about my now ex b/f who dumped me today because he doesnt have a car any more, and cant get out to see me any more.....
sorry this is not really very good... i just needed a vent for these emotions that have being building up inside me all day


you think your doing the right thing
but your not
tou dont realise how much pain
your putting me through
youve ripped my heart
youve torn my soul
youve done the thing
you said you would not do
you have broken my heart
you have shredded it
into millions of pieces
you broke your promise
and made me cry
you were my everything
you were the reason i was breathing
now my oxygen has been taken from me
how am i to live
how am i to continue
what will i do
i dont want any other
i just wawnt you
why cant you realise
i dont care if you have a car or not
i dont care if your flat broke
i dont care where you are living
the only thing i care about is you
and you alone
you are my light
and that has been stolen from me
you were my life
and that seems dull and boring
with out you around tonight
your killing me
with your words
your killing me
by trying to do the 'right' thing

you are so scared of your feelings
you would think im going to dump you
at the slightest thing wrong
im not like that
im not like your last girl
i dont want to hurt you
i dont want to kill your heart again like she did

any feed back on this is most apreciated and any quick fixes for getting over the love of your life  who dumps you is most apreciated.
cheers Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

© Copyright 2004 Ruth - All Rights Reserved
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
1 posted 2004-08-23 11:16 PM


hmm...well, for starters, i really loved this poem, because i can relate so well to it at this point in my life. Which totally freaks me out, but anyways....

The only thyng i could thing of to improve, would be descritptions, and maybe some metaphors or similies in there...

Wow...i cannot get over how much i can relate to this right now. It's sorta creepy...~lol~

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

aussie teen
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396
Australia
2 posted 2004-08-24 06:59 AM


thanks for replying kissa.... this was more of a vent as a siad at the start of the poem and i really just wanted to get my emotions out and onto paper without really using to many metaphors and stuff.....
but thankyou for your reply and any advice on getting over the love of your life that you have would be seriously apreciated.
cheers Ruth

live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever......

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-08-27 09:25 PM


the only thing i can think of to help you get over him, is to talk about it, and just try to think of all the good times, and look at it as a lesson in life, and a gain, not a loss. I dont know if that will help much, i am in the mddle of trying to do the exact same thing... He is scared, and he thinks i will dump him, or cheat on him. And this last weekend he got really mad, and jealous over nothing. I liked his best freind a loooong time ago in like feb. and he still thinks i like him, because he saw this thing in a old journal that said "{I LOVE NICK) and he jsut sorta got really different after that. Which is stupd i think, but if you ever want to talk, feel free to email me, i know i could use someone to talk to right now....

My email is: Kissa_bear04@hotmail.com

Okay, well i look forward to talking to you...

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2004-12-25 06:35 PM


It's great that you can just get your feelings down on paper and just vent...

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

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