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Teen Poetry #7
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yesterday's boy
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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yesterday's boy |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN 
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yesterday's boy a young man scribbles random coherent thoughts on napkins hoping that his writing will get him somewhere, but the voyages to deep inside his mind leave him seeing darkness all day long. He whispers what he writes so he can hear his voice pierce the silence that blankets his empty room. Empy room, empty home, substance with an empty mind So little, so much tragedy for that child of home. Is his life poetic tragedy like the words he writes or is it much more of an example of how things go wrong? So pick the best to time bury him again, Your words choose his , dont you know? his pen has run out of the precious ink that let him escape from the despair of home, now the pen digs deep down to find more precious ink, one that will spell out his end all of the floor. Scarred by the lesser thoughts in his mind and the lesser actions on his wrist he wears long sleeved shirts to hide the marks, the marks of sadness drawn into himself. this boy is one so young, yet none could know, this boy is...me |
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| © Copyright 2004 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
"He whispers what he writes so he can his voice" Edit: is this not supposed to be "so he can hear his voice"? Anyway, this is rather good. So often I see depressed, venting, more pathetic than anything poetry. Rarely do I see something that addresses those issues, yet not in a "feel sorry for me" sort of way. Thankyou... -Lioness |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
yes it is supposed to be hear. thanks for catching that |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
WOW amazing put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus |
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AtLsHawTy17 Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 60IL, |
i really like the idea of it a lot that was an awesome poem very well done Too late to cry, you're gone... why should I cry, you can't wipe the tears dry, so what am I to do? I need to be with you....-Me |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thank you both |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
You have raw mastery of your inner voice...introspective, confessional....moving... this is heady, in it's muave density...very, very moving (yeah, I know I said that already...lol)... I tripped on these lines: "So pick the best to time bury him again, Your words choose his , dont you know?" Not that they don't belong...but they took my attention away from the train of thought preceding ...anyway... a w e s o m e write... **babygirL** **Intoxicant to the SouL** |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
I can relate to this a lot. like the only thing you have is writing. that's how I feel at times. and that no one is REALLY seeing what type of person you are. Well done. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thank you both |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
loved it...i can relate too.  ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
oh wow amazing!!!! love the way you put my thoughts down on a piece of paper.... awesome work! love and empathy darkness. Sophie nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thank you all for the great comments |
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earthdust Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 53predestined and foreknown |
very deep , incoherently thought inspiring. " Understanding is more valuable than diamonds. If you can understand me, Then you are a very rich person. " |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thank you...i think |
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
LOL ~Express Yourself~ |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
nice |
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~DreamChild~ Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544in your dreams |
 had to read this again! ~Express Yourself~ |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
haha...good |
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punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
wow such an amazing talent you have. your flow, how you put visons in your work. I LOVE IT! robin hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and matt! |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thanks robin. |
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