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Teen Poetry #7

Communication Age [read?]

SimpleDiscourse
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 79

0 posted 2004-02-04 08:15 PM

Welcome to the
   Age of communication...

My mind on water towns:
  I hope you find me
Necessary
         someday.

And a deaf man
Takes a lover
  without hands.
without lips.

(Two problems have arisen
  with this poorly
planned love affair.)

Welcome to the
   Age of communication...

[just a note that this whole thing was completely random and i was basically just throwing a few ideas i had together.]

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

1 posted 2004-02-04 09:44 PM

This was an interesting piece. The third stanza really stood out to me. If you expanded this a little bit more, I think this would be an awesome write...but that is just my personal opinion! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

drummerboy678
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 134

2 posted 2004-02-04 11:25 PM

Wow, I really like this one. Interesting idea, but real well written.
Nice job!

Essential Distress
Junior Member

since 2004-01-22

Posts 33

3 posted 2004-02-05 06:33 AM

impressive.

experimentation is the only way to grow as a poet. i like the way you have chosen to express yourself here. nicely done.

perhaps extend it if you have the energy, however its lovely as it is

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2004-02-06 10:08 PM

I agree, experiment is the way of the writer, and this, this is a great success.
Nice.

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