»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
your my sister
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
your my sister |
|
|
sweet_lost_palestinian1 Member
since 2004-01-08
Posts 90 |
you cant make me hate her? you cant make me feel that i have to hate her. she is my sister and alwayz will be even though we are far away but were never part away in heart. we alwayz feel the same pain. and alwayz feel the same happiness. your the best queen of all human being. im ur sister and ur my sister..dont worry [im not a lezbo] BUT I AM A REAL FRIEND... u might be a my enemy but i still love u.. you might wanna hurt me but ur still my friend. i might have a heart that cant hate but please dont take adventage.. i look at ur pictures and laugh and ask myself why??. your eyes look so inoccent ,its shows that we will never be apart now or later , your my sister and alwayz will be... im honored to give u what i have .and im honored to tell u no-1 can ever change what u mean to me.. |
||
| © Copyright 2004 sweet_lost_palestinian1 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
first, please spell out all of your words. it helps alot with reading. second, the style is very simplistic and elementary. if you're just expressing feelings then it's fine, but if you want to make it really good find some imagery that is unique or metaphors or rhyming. all of these make poetry much much more fun and interesting. keep writing!! -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
||
|
cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
I thought it was pretty good and I can relate to it now b/c I'm in the same situation. My sisters away and I miss her alot. I actually like it alot |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
