Teen Poetry #7 |
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I saw it, You and Him |
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Paragon Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 114 |
I saw it you and him I felt it the dagger slid in nothing left to do but give in a situation where no one wins It feels so cold in here like the distant coldness of your eyes has frosted the room It smells like death in here like the poison in your words has diffused in the air It looks so bleak in here like the darkness consuming you has spread and all I can do is kiss you for the last time and watch you go |
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
I liked this but it didn't seem to flow really well from the first stanza to the second but I'm not sure how you could change it, nice work ~*~Karen~*~ |
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