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Teen Poetry #7

My Heart

muchos
Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 102

0 posted 2003-12-06 01:18 AM

my heart is like an ocean
unsteady, yet so pure,
now that you have broken it
will i ever find a cure
a cure to make me happy
to take away the pain
to make it all just vanish
and leave me without shame
i wish the pain was over
and that it didnt start
now that it has ended
i have a broken heart

TheGirlNoOneKnew
Member

since 2003-12-04

Posts 92
PA, USA

1 posted 2003-12-06 02:05 AM

I love the way it starts out, but I was a little disappointed by the ending. I was expecting it to be pretty powerful but it seems to lack a certain something. Good poem though, I liked this alot.

branden726

Senior Member

since 2000-09-25

Posts 607
Bay City, MI

2 posted 2003-12-07 06:11 PM

Great! The tradgedy of a breakup brings out great post while its a shame its a great way to express yourself I loved this post keep it up!

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

3 posted 2003-12-08 06:26 PM

I really liked this, it flowed really way and it's message was really good.

~*~Karen~*~

~All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them~Walt Disney

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