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Teen Poetry #7
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I Only Wanted You
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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I Only Wanted You |
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Olive_8 Junior Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 41Canada |
I never wanted a broken heart But now what can I do? I never wanted all your lies I only wanted you! I never wanted to feel like this But now I've come un-glued I never wanted this to happen I only wanted you! I never wanted to cry this much I need to get a clue I never wanted to believe it I only wanted you! I never wanted to make you sad I wish I would have knew I never wanted things to end I only wanted you! I never wanted you to leave But for us to make it though I never wanted to be let down I only wanted you! **There is no such thing as a promise!!** |
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TheGirlNoOneKnew Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 92PA, USA |
This was okay...but I think that using too many exclamation points end up making the poem sound forced and changes the tone. It seems like it's meant to be sad, but it feels the opposite. xoxo |
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duncan idaho Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70dune |
I want YOU, dah dah dah dah dah I want you so baAaaaAd! dah dah dah dah dah I want yooOOooOOoOOu dah dah dah dah dah I want you so baaahahad, its drivin me mad, its drivin me mad |
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PrincessNets Member
since 2002-10-30
Posts 103NewYork, USA |
I don't want to be cruel... let me start off by saying that. The poem was ok. I didn't like all of the repeating. I think it kind of took away from the meaning of the poem. Ok, I did like parts of it too. I liked that you were expressing how much you loved this person. I also liked that people can relate to the meaning of the poem. Keep writing. -Jeanette- |
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
I agree that it was okay, I would take out the exclaimation points and just a suggestion but whenever I have a point that I really want to get across I either reword it differently from stanza to stanze or I open and close the poem with it, but that's just me, nice work ~*~Karen~*~ |
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Pollita Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220the unknown realm of insanity |
I love this poem! It reminds me how I truely feel at this moment in time...This too happened to me, and Im just sorry that you had to go through something like this. Its the confusion with those 'special' ones who capture your heart and break down ypur barrier walls that seem so much more then a pretty face. *hugs* Hang in there, it happens to everyone. Some people just deny it though, because it makes them feel they're nothing...heh, Im going over board, juss hang in there and feel better. and if yu ever want someone to talk to my email is: [email protected] |
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