landscapes made barren - pipTalk Forums

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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2003-12-07 12:14 PM

i saw something on the way to curch this morning that made me just stop the car and watch...i'll see if my words can do it justice...so as usaul i am writing this as i go

landscapes made barren

tangerine colored moon is peaking
behind the clouds that shroud like curtains,
the trees' fingers stretch to the moonlight
but are bending in the cold breath of winter morning.
the sun's little brother is falling from the sky
even as he sees his older sibling rising from bed.
the night is passing and with it the stars will fade
and be forgotten by those who live for the day's attention.
stopping along this empty and forsaken road,
i'll take a moment to try and understand this beauty,
but my attempts are too feeble for me to admit
so i puff out my chest and continue down the road again.
i glance out the corner of my eye like i do when i look at you,
the moon is cowering lower, still lower.
the trees have stopped their bowing to the wind,
it tells me that winter has taken pity on earth for a minute.
the woods to my right stand close together,
as if trying to warm themselves from being after fall.
i will remember this morning,
though i was more alone than any other time,
this picture in my mind has no justice served to it
through this small, but attempted description.

now im alone, but not lonely like before

branden726

Senior Member

since 2000-09-25

Posts 607
Bay City, MI

1 posted 2003-12-07 05:57 PM

Nice, Well you've done a great job expressing exactly what you wanted to.

Great Job.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2003-12-07 09:06 PM

thanks alot, it was really hard to describe what i was seeing.

now im alone, but not lonely like before

duncan idaho
Member

since 2003-11-14

Posts 70
dune

3 posted 2003-12-08 02:40 PM

SUB URBAN sprawl,
it kills everything.

PrincessNets
Member

since 2002-10-30

Posts 103
NewYork, USA

4 posted 2003-12-08 05:06 PM

The poem was beautiful... I could just imagine all the beauty as you described it. Well done.
-Jeanette-

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

5 posted 2003-12-09 12:36 PM

i didn't like this poem that much i lost intrest early but that is maybe because i just woke up. you did describe this seen well

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

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