youthful soul - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #7

youthful soul

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2003-12-04 02:29 PM

Youthful Soul

awake, o sleeper from thy slumber!!
time is caling to you, whispering events.
watch for the friendships and love for which you hunger,
they pass by without a fond farewell.
Each Pill of Desperation you ingest
pushes you further from your imagined darkness.
Take heart!! the light overcomes the black digest.
good shall trample evil and hope will pass through our hearts.
the pease that surpasses our knowledge will prevail,
when trial approaches and ill intentions sprout,
the Light of Life rips away the dark veil,
allowing calm to enter in unobstructed.
Nights of sadness and sorrow will come
points of ha*e will pierce like daggers
but love keeps it pointed at none.
and for once fear releases its de*thly grasp
from around your youthful soul,
the freedom involved starts to heal,
and soon you'll be made whole

now im alone, but not lonely like before

duncan idaho
Member

since 2003-11-14

Posts 70
dune

1 posted 2003-12-04 02:34 PM

and then we die.

I copywrote that line, sorry, you can't use it.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

2 posted 2003-12-04 03:04 PM

Although this was an intriguing read, I'm not quite sure what you were going for. your use of language is powerful, however, don't let it hold you back. I feel like you were going for sound more than portrayl, and this could be more powerful if you focused on emotion.

But perhaps my two cents is totally and completely useless. Who knows?

Cya around.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.