Teen Poetry #7 |
Cant Breathe |
lilibeelee Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143 |
This decedion i have impares me to breathe My heart pulls in one direction, as my mind says just leave Two breaths quickly find love Just as fast as they lost it I grasp onto goodbye So hard I have lost him I couldnt let go of this moment Two lives continued to live Two hearts continued to love Or atleast I thought Its hard for me to forget Its so funy how things work out My mind wanders as it dreams my heart dreams as it seeks I feel like everytime I try I just isnt worth it I seem to make a mess I seem to loose all thats important All thats ever mattered Im afraid to love this new direction Im afraid because I know I will lose it Ill lose all that matters I know that there is something real But i said that last time And the time before that So what makes me think that this is real Voices of doubt fill my heart But something tells me just the oposite thoughts finaly starting to make sense finaly starting to look clear This first love comes again to my life Couldnt you just stay where you were? So confused so much pain So misunderstood So lost Can I keep love? Can I rid of the lost? Im pulled in one direction As my spirit stays sound My heart on my sleve Its open to break So Im afraid to forget As Im afraid to proceed Skip that part about loosing and keep that part about love |
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© Copyright 2003 Lisa - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Your closing comment seems more like an after though, like "no, scratch that", which is ironic because it fits in so wonderfully. You've described the feeling of not wanting something because you know you're going to lose it or mess it up eventually, or atleast that's what I got from this. Good job. |
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Ally Stone Junior Member
since 2003-10-20
Posts 48D.C. |
I tried to read this, but didn't make it through because of all the spelling and grammar errors. I'm not criticizing your poem or anything, I just suggest that you edit it a bit so it's easier to read. |
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