Teen Poetry #7 |
Forever Frozen |
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Here I am. Frozen in this ice, For all to see, For all to wonder, What my story was, To wonder how I got there, To wonder where the ice came from. If you looked closely though, Carved into the ice was a hidden message, To tell all who wants to know, What my story really was. In this ice, I was frozen, Left alone, To be chosen, To be the one, To endure this Everlasting cold. Here I am stuck, In this icy mold, Gaze into my glassy eyes, See this chilled look, This look of surprise. Taken in without notice, Without a second thought. I begged for a chance, I kicked and I fought, But still...Here I am. Tell me, how does it feel, to treat me like you do?~Orgy |
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© Copyright 2003 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
This was really good Staci. I could actually imagine you, trapped in an ice prison, displayed for everyone to see. Kind of eery, but very good imagery. Keep it up! ~J.Lynn P.S. Don't listen to those people who put you down like that...your poetry is awesome... *¤§¤*You are born helpless...and you die helpless...*¤§¤* |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
I've read a few of your poems... Out of all this one has been the best. I've never been into dark poetry.. So it wouldn't be fair for me to critique your writting also you don't have a critique message up new ways... Nice Piece. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I liked it. It was very good, i could really see how you feel through your words. I think a lot of poeple could relate to it! I hope to see more! ~kissa~ |
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broken627 Member
since 2003-11-26
Posts 66Eugene Oregon |
Im really feeling this poem...It was really good...your very talented :-) -*-broken627-*- |
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duncan idaho Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70dune |
this was so amazing that a broke down and sobbed. i don't want to be frozen anymore, can you help? |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
this was great!! you did such a good job. the last part of it was my favorite!! grea work!! -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Duncan, were you being sarcastic? B/c if you were, you did a bad job at it. Please, I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't reply to anymore of my poems. Thanks. Tell me, how does it feel, to treat me like you do?~Orgy |
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Ally Stone Junior Member
since 2003-10-20
Posts 48D.C. |
This is great, I absolutly loved it. All the crap your taking is crazy, every poem has some sort of worth, and the ones who can't see that are the one's who can't do it. Don't sweat duncan idaho, he can't even touch you. |
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