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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-12-02 04:57 PM

Here I am.
Frozen in this ice,
For all to see,
For all to wonder,
What my story was,
To wonder how I got there,
To wonder where the ice came from.

If you looked closely though,
Carved into the ice was a hidden message,
To tell all who wants to know,
What my story really was.

In this ice,
I was frozen,
Left alone,
To be chosen,
To be the one,
To endure this
Everlasting cold.
Here I am stuck,
In this icy mold,
Gaze into my glassy eyes,
See this chilled look,
This look of surprise.
Taken in without notice,
Without a second thought.
I begged for a chance,
I kicked and I fought,
But still...Here I am.

Tell me, how does it feel, to treat me like you do?~Orgy

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

1 posted 2003-12-02 05:03 PM

This was really good Staci. I could actually imagine you, trapped in an ice prison, displayed for everyone to see. Kind of eery, but very good imagery. Keep it up!

~J.Lynn

P.S. Don't listen to those people who put you down like that...your poetry is awesome...

*¤§¤*You are born helpless...and you die helpless...*¤§¤*

branden726

Senior Member

since 2000-09-25

Posts 607
Bay City, MI

2 posted 2003-12-02 05:06 PM

I've read a few of your poems... Out of all this one has been the best.

I've never been into dark poetry.. So it wouldn't be fair for me to critique your writting also you don't have a critique message up new ways... Nice Piece.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

3 posted 2003-12-02 05:37 PM

I liked it. It was very good, i could really see how you feel through your words. I think a lot of poeple could relate to it!
I hope to see more!
~kissa~

broken627
Member

since 2003-11-26

Posts 66
Eugene Oregon

4 posted 2003-12-03 09:10 PM

Im really feeling this poem...It was really good...your very talented :-)
-*-broken627-*-

duncan idaho
Member

since 2003-11-14

Posts 70
dune

5 posted 2003-12-04 02:31 PM

this was so amazing that a broke down and sobbed. i don't want to be frozen anymore, can you help?

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

6 posted 2003-12-04 02:36 PM

this was great!! you did such a good job. the last part of it was my favorite!! grea work!!
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

7 posted 2003-12-04 03:26 PM

Duncan, were you being sarcastic? B/c if you were, you did a bad job at it. Please, I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't reply to anymore of my poems. Thanks.

Tell me, how does it feel, to treat me like you do?~Orgy

Ally Stone
Junior Member

since 2003-10-20

Posts 48
D.C.

8 posted 2003-12-04 06:00 PM

This is great, I absolutly loved it. All the crap your taking is crazy, every poem has some sort of worth, and the ones who can't see that are the one's who can't do it. Don't sweat duncan idaho, he can't even touch you.

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