Teen Poetry #7 |
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ParkingLots |
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buckysimone Junior Member
since 2003-10-19
Posts 27 |
Parking lots Of Empty hearts Robotic minds unrest And through the silhouettes Silhouettes of uncertain lies Dead roses and tattered paintings Waxy fingers and toes Walking like a babies beginning Off-centered by salty pasts Think alike Through thick and thin Mechanical minds and childhood dreams Dreams of industrial futures Up brings identical beings Sick and tired Death and daunting Halting machines Completing their stops A new path, new people Let's drive Drive away This parking lot |
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© Copyright 2003 buckysimone - All Rights Reserved | |||
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
hmmm...for the most part i liked it, you had creative ideas, you lost me in some parts though. it seemed like words were missing or something..good write though -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I am closing this post as it is a double post, you also have this in dark. You can not post the same poem in two forums, at the same time, unless one is in Critical Analysis. ![]() |
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