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Teen Poetry #7
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nostalgic*pride
Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122
NowhereVille

0 posted 2006-08-30 05:10 PM


To those who will listen
Let drift your mind
The poem's not sweet
My words are not kind

To those who will listen
Prepare for a war
You'll hear what I say
But not what it's for

To those who will listen
My pain is quite real
You know who I am
Yet ignore what I feel

To those who will listen
Please here my plea
Send a light to the shadows
To come rescue me

To those who will listen
My life isn't all pain
I don't know what's wrong
Perhaps I'm insane

To those who will listen
I'm wasting my breath
Things just wont change
Until I find death

Uber depressing right? Cut me some slack. I was in a BAD (REALLY BAD) mood. And my anger just kind of came out, and the poem didn't turn out that good.


© Copyright 2006 Haley May - All Rights Reserved
cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

1 posted 2006-08-30 08:25 PM


I thought it did make all since to me. It was really good too.
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
2 posted 2006-08-30 10:01 PM


Hey.. I loved this poem. It's one of the best that I have read of yours. Absolutley amazing!

I loved your first stanza.. it just kinda of drug me into the poem.

"You'll hear what I say
But not what it's for"
~These lines in the second stanza just made me think about a lot of stuff and how people listen to you but maybe not know what you mean.~

"You know who I am
Yet ignore what I feel"
~Again the last two lines in this stanza were amazing. I feel like you put a lot of thought into this.~


The last stanza just kind of set it up just right. Even though is was kind of negative at the end. It was a great way to end it. I loved how you ended the poem with death becuase death ends life. So that's kind of like comparison.. (ex. It might have been weird to have the death part in the middle if ya know what i mean)

great job..

I hope to hear more like this from you!!

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
3 posted 2006-08-31 12:10 PM


Aw, I think the poem turned out great!  It's always good to let your anger out through poetry...
Hope you're feeling better now.

~Alli~

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
4 posted 2006-08-31 04:34 AM


yeah i can really relate, and it made a lot of sense. that was really good
JosephF
Junior Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 30

5 posted 2006-08-31 08:02 AM


I can Relate to this a great deal, Very powerful and emotional. Lovely!
in_luv_06
New Member
since 2006-09-30
Posts 9

6 posted 2006-10-06 04:35 PM


i can seriously relate!!! but death isn't the answer no matter what happens...trust me. Good Job!
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