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Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-08-23 04:55 PM

Ivr been falling to be
Everthing you wanted from me
Everything you wnated to see
And everything you need
But im sorry
If everthings not perfect
And im sorry
If im not who you want me to be
Im always wrong and never write
I dont know why we always fight
but its always the same
We always have each other to blame

You complain that i waited to long
Im sorry
If i forgot
You could do no wrong
And im sorry
That i couldnt be
All you wanted from me
But im only who i am
That cant change
And i dont give a damn
About you

nostalgic*pride
Member

since 2006-08-23

Posts 122
NowhereVille

1 posted 2006-08-23 06:11 PM

This is REALLY good. I like the gentle sarcasm... Very nice peice of work.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2006-08-23 06:13 PM

wow a big shock at the end. at first it seemed like you weere trying to win them back almost.  then towards the end you said

And im sorry
That i couldnt be
All you wanted from me
But im only who i am
That cant change
And i dont give a damn
About you

i loved that part.  it was a nice surprise from how i thought you'd end the poem.  this was good. nice write.

but in the middle i almost feel that you could do more with this. i like the ending. but the first bit is almost stiff? i dunno. wut do i  know seriously? just wut i thought.

hope my comments helped.

Rhia

Mandy07
New Member

since 2006-07-20

Posts 4

3 posted 2006-08-24 04:22 PM

I am sorry that you fell and made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone and I am also sorry that you cant spell to save your life but other than that good job there buddy

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

4 posted 2006-08-24 06:41 PM

Great Write Tempest. One of my favorites by you.

Mandy07, just a question... who are you to criticize someone else?

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2006-08-24 10:57 PM

i liked this poem although not one of my favorites by you i still liked it

good post hope to see more form you...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

6 posted 2006-08-25 05:17 PM

thanks guys,this poem really was a doozy on the rhyming part though. like putting it all together in my head....any ways thats not important.
~Tempest~

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

7 posted 2007-04-10 08:54 PM

i know alot of my posts are late but wow i liked this one too it was very catchy if i am putting the words right its very hard to explain the words that come to mind when i read your poem it is just so good

~XxMz.NerdyRockstarxX~
Junior Member

since 2011-01-14

Posts 15
Alabama, United States

8 posted 2011-01-14 08:28 PM

Wow that was amazing...im so loving you right now

you are an amazing writer

~XxExpect Nothing N You'll Never Get HurtxX~

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