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Teen Poetry #7
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Untitled (BUT PLEASE READ)
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Untitled (BUT PLEASE READ) |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! 
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Sadly mistaken for a tragedy My life keeps breaking right in front of me The shards keep falling It never ends I want to get somewhere But im running circles again I go round and round Untill I give up and just fall down I reach for your hand But you just turned and walked away So on the ground ill stay Untill the story unfolds Untill it all opens up I can feel it on the inside As my body erupts Anger blinded and starved for air Deprived of living and nobody cares |
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| © Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThePrayers0faBrokenHeart Junior Member
since 2006-03-19
Posts 10guam, harmon |
OMFG! i can so relate to this poem! like fr real ! ive been feeling like dat for weeks! like no one is ever there for me and no one cares! i sooo love this work ! even tho its short, it has meanings to it ! keep up the great work! -chrissy x|3 "&& i realy love you and it hurts me that you dont even a damn care <<3" |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Tempest, I think so far this would be my favorite by you, not that I’ve read very many of your poems, but of the ones that I have read… As I write my reply I keep reading the poem, there is nothing I would change in this, at least nothing huge, maybe little grammar errors, but that is it! It’s such a good poem just how it is right now. I can’t seem to pick a favorite out of all of the lines though, their all so very good, and they compliment each other, all of the lines belong where they are at… Okay, never mind, I found it I loved these lines a lot, ”As my body erupts Anger, blinded, and starved for air, Deprived of living, and nobody cares” Very nice, it kind of makes my morbid side happy… lol Good write on this one, can’t wait to see more like this  @-->--- |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Although I'm about 3 months late on this post, this is an awesome poem. I'm posting so that it goes back to the top, and more ppl read it. It's an awesome poem... Much love, Michelle |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
I like this one b/c i can relate to this one so much. Man I love poems that i can relate to, and this one i can. I love that. Thaks for sharing. And once again I hope to see more in the future. |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Boosting, more ppl need to read this one *I love him oh yes I do, he's for me and not for you, and if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!* |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Wow Bryan, I really liked this poem by you. I think you did a great job!  ~Alli~ |
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wwzwlmd8 Member
since 2006-09-23
Posts 96San Diego,CA |
I enjoyed reading it I think it was great and I would be happy if you will read my poems to. Great job. |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
wow i liked this one alot, very interesting because it sounds and depicts alot that i see in everyones daily life and i am glad someone was finally able to capture a piece of the reality we live in |
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~XxMz.NerdyRockstarxX~ Junior Member
since 2011-01-14
Posts 15Alabama, United States |
Man the more i read from you the better it gets like i cant even explain how much i relate to this poem and for how long and you captured it in words....just WOW ~XxExpect Nothing N You'll Never Get HurtxX~ |
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