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Teen Poetry #7
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pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513


0 posted 2006-08-18 10:46 PM



Where is my friend?
Where has she gone?
Has her stay been so short?
Or rather too long?

What have they done?
You’re so different now.
Before anyone
Forever you’ll bow.

What are her morals?
Are you sure they are good?
I’ll tell you I don’t like it.
Do you think I should?

I support your decision.
But you must know it hurts.
In the case of our friendship
Has worst come to worst?

© Copyright 2006 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-08-19 07:38 PM


Hi pen&paper,

I'm not quite sure what to think of this poem at the moment. It seems like you really care about the person in this but you sound kind of distant in your writing. Like you are just pondering someone else that you don't even know, no offence. It's kind of different to read something like that but ... I do like it, just not sure why I like it yet.

"What are her morals?
Are you sure they are good?
I’ll tell you I don’t like it.
Do you think I should?"


One of my favorite parts in the whole poem^^ I believe it is because you brought up what her morals were. It plays a large part in my life, morals that is, and I liked seeing it as a question in the poem...

Great job and thanks for sharing, I think I will go back and re-read this again, I feel like I'm missing something? lol...

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
2 posted 2006-08-19 08:46 PM


I really like this one.. it's very simple but it get's the point across. Great job..

~heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513

3 posted 2006-08-20 09:41 AM


thanks guys!
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