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Upside down
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Upside down |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
When I look at you upside down It looks like you're oh so happy. But the truth is you actually have a frown. What's up with that...your face should be filled with grace. But no, it's filled with Sadness, depression, and a little of madness. What are you combinding and hiding? You have nothing to hide. So you can put that to the side. I want to see your smile, but I guess I have to wait awhile... The very last time I saw your frown ( =( ), It was hopping on a train and leaving town. I wrote this to a litttle kid that I remembered babysitting... everytime i saw him he always had a frown on his face. but one day something someone made him happy and so I wrote this to him. But I hope you like it too, even though I know it's kindda kidish. |
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| © Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well, I wouldn't call this "kiddish" at all. I just think that this little kid made a big impression on you... Once again this isn't what I was expecting and I hope you won't mind if I suggest you add on to this one. The reason being is that when you first read this, without your side note, it's hard for the reader to understand, at least I felt it was. Anyway, no offence, just thought I would mention it... Great job once again  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
yeah I guess your right. But atleast I had put the side notes at the bottom so you guys could understand it. But thanks for letting me know. |
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