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Teen Poetry #7
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cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442


0 posted 2006-08-18 05:10 PM



So it came to this
Just me and my fist
What's up with this world that I live in?
Why does everythhing have to go?
Why can't things just flow?
I don't undersatand anything at all.
Your answer is always "oh lets just go to the mall"
I don't spend my money when I'm in stress.
I just like to sit in my big giant mess.
I cry and cry,
But time doesn't pass by.
So what am I supposed to do,
when my life isn't even true?

© Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-08-19 07:25 PM


Hi cherrys_rule,

Interesting poem! My favorite parts would be the last two ending lines, the title, and the part where it talks about all you are left with is your fist.

Very good job, it's not what I was expecting at all! but I found it to be a pleasurable read and I thank you for sharing it

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

2 posted 2006-08-19 09:37 PM


thanks stargal. That day was very stressing so I just had to calm myself down and just write a few of my words. and I came out with this. I enjoy you enjoying reading my poems and commenting.
tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world
3 posted 2006-08-20 02:14 PM


I'd have to say my favorite part of this poem was the title :] the poem itself was good, I'll be honest, the ending wasn't my favorite for some reason but your rhyming was very well done! Keep it up, hope to see more from you!

myspace username-beautiful_tragidy
I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new.

cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

4 posted 2006-08-20 04:49 PM


well thank you very much, I thought the title was very clever. Yeah I have to agree with you that I didn't really like the ending either.
STOP_JUDGiiN_M3
Junior Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 16

5 posted 2007-02-07 08:04 PM


OH WOW...SINCE THE OPENING STANZA YOU HAD WE HOOKED. IT WAS SO DIFFERENT!! I LIKED IT!! I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR MORE OF YOUR POETRY!! JUST KNO YOUR NOT ALONE, CAUSE I FEEL LIKE THIS AT TIMES TO!

FTR...ALLDAii!!

Kateyshine911
New Member
since 2008-11-20
Posts 4

6 posted 2008-11-23 05:26 PM




Hi cherrys_rule (nice name, lol)
i tottaly understand what you mean.
hope things turn around for you!!!

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