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Teen Poetry #7
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Emotions
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Emotions |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Anger and Frustration Hate and Dissipation Normal emotions that I feel These things making me spin like a wheel Here I go Round and round Without stops Getting dizzy I can't hang on It's time to let go Time to move on New emotions Lots of devotions Seeing you, finding me This is where I want to be... |
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| © Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved | |||
*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I really liked how the second stanza flowed. The words just had a kind of rhythem to them. Anyway, great job. I love reading your poems.  ~Alli~ |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Really good write... First stanza could have flown better, but all in all, it was great... Keep writing you have a real knack for poetry!!! Michelle |
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electricxheart Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184far away from home. |
awesome ending! i liked it a lot. --kelly |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
Great poem. Keep writing, you’re great at it |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
mgoodman1989 I agree with you on the first stanza, i'm just not sure yet how i want to change it yet make it say the same sort of thing. Thanks for the comments everyone! I'd kind of given up hope on this post  @-->--- |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
i like the first and last stanzas. the middle just didnt seem right. it didn't flow well in my oppinion. all in all it was a nice write. Jessica |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
What if you changed Anger and Frustration Hate and Dissipation Normal emotions that I feel These things making me spin like a wheel to .... normal emotions that i feel internally spinning like a wheel? I dunno |
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Internalexile Junior Member
since 2006-06-15
Posts 38UK |
Great,I love the enotional wheel metaphor v clever  Internalexile Let the moonlight paint your face, let the stars be your cloak... |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
i like this one : ) its really good!! |
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Frank W. Torres Member
since 2006-06-10
Posts 133 |
Yea! |
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spaz02 Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74USA |
this was great...i know how it feels...im def. reading more of urs.. "For every drop of my blood that falls is because of you" ~Spaz02~ |
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loveislove Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59USA |
i have to go with the majority on the first stanza but all in all it was a relatively good poem...youre a natural at it..keep writing "when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join them in a mutual weirdness and call it love-true love" |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
i agree with latteaddict213 on the flow of the middle stanza. i liked Anger and Frustration Hate and Dissipation that was a nice rhyming scheme too.....good job *hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hmm... Thanks for being honest in your opinions on the poem. It is very much appreciated that you all took the time to post! Since the general feeling is that the first and second stanza aren't that great. I think that I shall start rewriting this one as soon as I can and see what I can come up with... Once again, thank you all for posting replies @-->--- |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
I really like this poem. When I was reading it (it might seem wierd) but I got dizzy. But I might of just been dizzy from the start. But I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
i liked it. not much else i can think of to say. i thought it was great a whole |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
hey stargal i've missed talkin with ya! i've been in new york for the past 2 weeks! we'll hafta catch up soon : ) |
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
I liked it a lot. Im not so sure that i think the flow should be worked on. It comes together nicely the way it is. A most enjoyable read. |
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IHaveADeepLOVE4POETRY1995 New Member
since 2008-11-26
Posts 2 |
This reply of mine goes to Alli.Alli I totally agree with you the second stanza really works and flows and it kinda does have a rythem to it.You are totally right!This second part of my reply goes to Stargal.Stargal I think you are an awesome poet so keep up the good work!I LOVE the way your CREATIVE JUICES just flow!I just have one little question for you STARGAL! Did this poem come to you easily or did it take you a while to come up with it or was this the way you were feeling at the time you wrote this poem, so how did this poem come to you? |
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Kateyshine911 New Member
since 2008-11-20
Posts 4 |
im a girl of small words today because my kitten is missing but i liked your poem alot and would love to read more!!! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
IHaveADeepLOVE4POETRY1995, It has been awhile since I wrote this poem that I'm not quite sure what happened. One stanza just built upon the next until I have what you now see. Most of my poems I actually have trouble relating with, I suppose on some inner level I probably was feeling this way at the time. Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you read it. Katey, I'm sorry to hear your kitten is missing. I hope you found her/him well. Thank you for taking the time to read. |
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lilmissflyaway Junior Member
since 2009-01-19
Posts 15ohio,usa |
omg yesss i totally c what you mena in this one i love it -great job |
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nina1522 Member
since 2009-02-14
Posts 189 |
I really enjoyed reading this. yeah i really like the second stanza |
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