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| Teen Poetry #7 |
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The Best |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104
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every time your with me Its as if time stands still Does this mean I love you? And that I always will? I want us to be together Every minute of everyday But I still fear that you don’t feel the same I have been fooled before And had my heart broken But with you it seems different Its like my heart, you have stolen You seem to be so sweet so unlike the rest So different, unique You really are the best |
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| © Copyright 2006 Miranda Nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi broken_smile1469, Cute poem, I really enjoyed reading this one a lot. Though, I personally think you should add on to this! The ending and the start is wonderful, I think you have that down, but why not put more into the middle? It kind of sounds rushed there, no offence. I just think it would be awesome if you embellished on the story more, that's just me though... Anyway, I thought this was an awesome poem, and I'm glad you finally posted something more! I've been wanting to return the favor for you posting on mine. I'm glad I got the chance because it also allowed me to read some great work by you. Thanks for sharing!  "I pray thee, O God, that I may be beautiful within." –Socrates @-->--- |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
AWWW this was a cute poem. I thought you did a great job on this. I hope to see more from you in the future. |
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