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Teen Poetry #7

My Fantasy

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

0 posted 2006-08-09 08:51 PM

I think I love you
But I can't say
Though you make my problems go away
You still me, soft,
With just one glance
And put me in
A sort of trance

And though you're with my friend
I want your love to end
So our story can
At last begin

I'm livin on
A fantasy
I'm livin on
My wildest dreams
As you're stuck
In reality

Come join me in
My fantasy
And we'll dream the day away
Come join me in my fantasy
I've got something to say

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2006-08-09 08:57 PM

I'm livin on
A fantasy
I'm livin on
My wildest dreams
As you're stuck
In reality

i liked that it was beautifully written good poem
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

2 posted 2006-08-11 08:41 PM

And though you're with my friend
I want your love to end
So our story can
At last begin

This part seems kindda messed up. You would take away your friends b/f or g/f away so you could be with them. I just think that's a really messed up relationship that you have going there.
Other then that this was rather good.

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

3 posted 2006-08-12 07:42 PM

I wouldn't do anything to take him away from her. She's my friend. I can wait for him.

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