Teen Poetry #7 |
People; Life; Uncle |
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
This is so not my usual style of writing, so, if it's horrible be honest about it cause I'm testing(?) new things and I would like to know. Thanks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brain; think upon abhorrent past I with a crystal glass; raised With a mocking toast to life; unfair I boast with pride; my anger at people and life People; for planting the seed of destruction in one man With hurting words; feeding, off the fear of painful death Offering; “sweet” suicide as the way to timeless release Gun, knife, rope, pipe, it’s all the same, it’ll make you forget your pain… Life; For stealing my uncle away so soon Horrid life takes it all; forcing, pushing, raping Pulling; rhythm, breath, beat, memories, all, into The Sea The Sea of souls; where life has extracted its ultimate toll; death… Uncle; didn’t you know we loved you so Couldn’t you see; 10 years; your death still haunts me Must I blame; the world for your shameful disgrace Wretched; am I; hurting, with knowledge, of absolute dread… People; will hunt me down; in search of the feed Life; will come for me in time; with an ardor; for the toll Uncle; constant reminder to me; of a useless tragedy Life; people; uncle; will, never, be, me… @-->--- |
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© Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved | |||
bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
woah. thats really really good. at least i think it is. It was extremely different form but i love it. It was really cool how it all came together. and yeah. amazing i really enjoyed this alot thanks for sharing! |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Stargal, I find this very interesting. I love the way you set it up. You're other poems are good but this blew them out of the water. Awesome poem. ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
boosting... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Eh, thanks for the boost bekah and for the comment(s) and being a friend and being there and listening and … everything? It’s appreciated… Also thank you Heather I'm glad you liked this poem. I always enjoy seeing what you've got to say about my work... "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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silentmage13 Junior Member
since 2005-11-20
Posts 14Florida |
More and more, you become one of my favorite poets. This is a great piece. Hope can only be found inside yourself, never in a person or thing. |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
I like this style for you. It suits you well. One of my favorites of yours. Thanks for sharing your poetry Stargirl. *tips hat* ^_^ J. Slamka |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Agreed. This style does suit you well. I really enjoyed this one. ~Alli~ |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Magical, LOL this looks great on you! Keep it up, I am anticipating more!!! Seriously, good Job, I really liked the flow, the wording, and the set up. Different, and refreshing. Much love, Michelle |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Boosting |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Boosting *I love him oh yes I do, he's for me and not for you, and if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!* |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
LOL! Thanks for the comments everyone, and the boost mgoodman "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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