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Teen Poetry #7

You

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2006-08-04 08:21 PM

i dream of you
In the stillness of the night
Your arms are the wind
Holding me tight
Whispering softly
Calling my name
It's your voice I hear,
again and again
My heart is full,
yet empty too
Because the one thing
I want,
and can't have
Is you.
-------------

(i know this is really short, i was awake trying to think of something, but i couldn't think of anything more..sorry)

~missy
My tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away..
my love is a waste of time
if you never stay

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-08-05 01:30 AM

Humm.. Well, I thought the poem was the perfect length. Without the ending as it is I'm not sure I would think that but what you did do with the ending was wrap the whole poem together. You made the poem close without any lose ends, I thought it was an excellent job on your part!

I liked the content of the poem too. It's kind of bittersweet to read, yet, it's very enjoyable.

Thanks for sharing

@-->---

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

2 posted 2006-08-05 12:07 PM

thanks!!!!=)

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-08-09 09:37 PM

yea a good length not to long or too short....

because the one thing
i wan't,
and cant have
is you.

that was my favorite part.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

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