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Teen Poetry #7
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pen&paper
Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513


0 posted 2006-08-04 03:09 PM



“You can’t take on the world
You’ll just break down
You’ll turn your smile
Into a frown
It may sound crazy
But its true”

Those are my words
For you
To say to me
When I’ve lost hope
When I’m lost and trying to grope
My way through dark tunnels
Corridors and alleys
Over large hills
And across long valleys

I can’t do this alone
I need you to guide me
I need you to walk, run, and stand
Beside me

© Copyright 2006 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-08-04 04:20 PM


I liked this poem. It makes sense and it has a great lesson on life for everyone in it. Sometimes we try too hard to be perfect when we can't be, we try to take on the weight of the world when we need to just sit back and relax at times. I think you explained that very well in this poem.

The rhythm in this was very nice, it seemed to fit the whole poem together, it helped make the poem work. Great job with that!

Thanks for sharing

@-->---

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2006-08-09 09:39 PM


I can’t do this alone
I need you to guide me
I need you to walk, run, and stand
Beside me.
good poem.... thanx for sharing.
Krysti*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

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