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Teen Poetry #7
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Never go
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Never go |
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Artofmark Junior Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 41 |
Distance is a mere measurement but it can come between us but niether nor a distance in my heart can ever express what i feel when we are apart my eyes large and i begin to weep without you the ocean is yet so deep but with you i can swim but with you i can dream but for everything i hold dear taken for you i was miskaten but if you must go, my love goes with transparent like wind you may not see it but light or strong you can always feel it. Deep in my heart i love thee so and i shall plead with thee to never go. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Artofmark - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Artofmark, Another awesome poem by you I see! I must admit that my favorite lines would be the first and last. The first line because it's simple and so true, yet, it holds a deeper meaning in it. The last line because it expressed a kind of sadness in it but also hope and love. This was such a pleasure to read and I thank you for sharing!  @-->--- |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
you may not see it but light or strong you can always feel it. These were my favorite. I'd never thought of it that way and I loved how you explained it! The only part that I didn't like in this poem was the last 2 lines: Deep in my heart i love thee so and i shall plead with thee to never go. Throughout the whole poem you used pretty modern language and used "you" to emphasize the person you were talking to. Then in the last 2 lines you used "thee" and it just didn't seem to fit with the rest. The old english I guess bothered me. Otherwise it was a wonderful write! Keep them up! myspace username-beautiful_tragidy I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new. |
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