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WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

0 posted 2006-08-02 05:14 PM

I wake up, on top of the blanket,
Get up, turn off the alarm.
To tell the truth, I didn’t think I’d make it
To sleep, without you to keep me warm.
I wanna crawl back under the covers,
But the clock tells me I’m late.
I wonder if you found another lover
After you left here so very irate.

I take a quick, cold shower,
I won’t let myself cry anymore.
Decide not to give you that power,
As I pick up my jeans off the floor.
Look in the mirror to fix my hair,
Put on a little mascara.
I stub my toe, I stop to swear,
Just want to get to work THIS era!

I’ll admit, last night I had a drink,
And passed out onto bed.
I needed to pull myself from that brink,
The brink of wishing you were dead.
I got to work late, but that’s okay,
The boss says she’ll give me another chance.
And tomorrow’s a brand new day,
The day I’m giving up on romance.

Yes, today’s the last day I’ll think about love,
I think as I drive home at seven.
I don’t do anything drastic that I know of,
Crawl under the covers at about eleven.
I won’t think of you, or the way you left me,
The way it ended, the way it hurt.
Of you, I’m finally free,
Except that I’m sleeping in your sweatshirt.

I wake up, push away the covers,
Get up, turn off the alarm.
To my surprise I discover,
I didn’t need you to keep me warm.

~not sure about this one...~

When I stopped trying to find the right guy, and concentrated on being the right girl, the right guy found me.

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

1 posted 2006-08-02 05:42 PM

THis was REALLY GOOD! I love the structure of going through the day...and then the sudden realization. Keep it up!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-08-03 01:11 AM

Well, I'm not sure about this one. In some ways I like the narrator kind of style to it but in others I don't. It's almost, I say almost because it's not quite, almost, emotionless to me, no offence. Yet, I kind of like how you step back and talk your way through the day, it gives this an interesting edge.

I do like how you start out with a blue feeling and end up giving us hope in the end. That kind of poem just makes me smile! This was no exception.

Thanks for sharing

@-->---

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-08-03 08:51 PM

wow i liked this a lot it had such a nice flow and i loved the rhyming i loved it hope to read more from you soon.....good write
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

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