Teen Poetry #7 |
Save Me! |
pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513 |
I need you But I can wait I need you To help me escape I’ve jumped off a cliff I’ve jumped off a cliff I’ve jumped off a cliff Save me! I don’t want to wait |
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© Copyright 2006 Cierra L. Robbeloth - All Rights Reserved | |||
buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
I think this is a good poem, its defiantly not your best. I think the save me's could've been one less, and go with this a make it longer! this could be an even better poem if you make it longer.but nice write, interesting style, its very unique..i like that in poetry -missy |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Very nice write. short and simple, yet deep. i really liked it. keep it up. John O. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Umm, I liked this also. Yet, I agree with buttercupbaby on that you should run with this! Make it longer, increase on the “story” line of the poem. Except I also have to agree with John, it’s short simple and deep. Deep is what I’m agreeing on most, makes you think/wonder why “you” are jumping off a cliff… I don’t know, it’s kind of late here so I might not be making any sense… Anyway, awesome poem and thanks for sharing @-->--- |
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