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| Teen Poetry #7 |
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him |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
my heart skips a beat every time i hear your name, the way i felt for you then and now is not the same, when i see you looking at me like that it drives me insane, it makes me wonder deep down do you feel the same, theres things in our way, and i pray that you'll stay, cuz when you call me hun my legs turn to clay, and i'd pray forever for one more day, to feel your soft touch, you are my addiction you are my crutch, i'm forging ahead; i love you that much, so i'll step on the gas and let go of the clutch, i know i'm only dreaming, and heavy-hearted i feel like screaming, but i remember the way your eyes were gleaming, and it makes trying with you worth my while... A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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| © Copyright 2006 Krysti - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pen&paper Senior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 513 |
you could space your stanzas a little just an idea Example: to feel your soft touch, you are my addiction you are my crutch, i'm forging ahead i love you that much, so i'll step on the gas and let go of the clutch, see what i'm saying? |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Hunnie_girl, I think I can agree with spacing the stanzas, it's nothing big, but it makes the setup more interesting? I'm not sure... "the way i felt for you then and now is not the same" This line would be my favorite out of the whole poem. It's something I can relate too, it's like loving someone and than LoViNg someone, you know? It's hard to explain but I liked how you put this into the poem. Thanks a bunch for sharing  @-->--- |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
yea ok i think that would be gud yea it did sound better thnx hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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