navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » The Question on my Mind
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Question on my Mind Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
The Shadow in Blue
Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493
EL, Michigan

0 posted 2006-07-25 10:44 PM


The Question on my Mind

Why is it that I can't be me?
free of my shackles and iron chains
allowed to speak my mind
and proudly say my name
all without fear of what people think

And in this spirit I wish that I was "you"
always ready to swing and take the first punch
but alas that's not true, not in the least
for that impossible dream is out of my grasp
slipping through my fingers one-two-three

And just like the sand
it washes away in the waves
disappearing forever into the sea
leaving me alone defenceless to myself
just like yesterday and the day before that

So in this losing battle up the rocky hill
I somberly laugh, my eyes downcast and grey
losing their flecks of playful sea blue
hidden underneath the sands of time gone by
losing their color like the greying of age

And as the sun sets on my mind's horizon
I get nudged towards the light with a gentle touch
a push by a friend, my guardian angel
bringing back the blue to my eyes
even just for one moment

© Copyright 2006 Jill Slamka - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-07-25 11:52 PM


bringing back the blue to my eyes
even just for one moment

I loved the whole poem but these two last lines just seemed to get to me. I love the way you write, you are very talented. GREAT JOB on this one..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-07-26 12:47 PM


"Why is it that I can't be me?
free of my shackles and iron chains
allowed to speak my mind
and proudly say my name
all without fear of what people think
"

Okay, I agree, I loved the whole poem also, but to me this stanza stuck out most. I think it's because I can relate well to it, I'm always afraid of what people will think of me, this is like a mirror image of my life in some ways...

Once again thanks for sharing! I always look forward to reading your poems and I'm never disappointed. This one is no exception. Hope you post more soon

@-->---

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » The Question on my Mind

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary