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Teen Poetry #7
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autumn
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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autumn |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
this is definetly mot my best in my oppinion. i have written better. i do like autumn and indian summer though I look upon the leaves that fall I hear out loud my echoing calls Water rushing flowing by, as each path rain feeds Streambeds soon fill, carrying with nature’s seeds Autumn is here, with almost nothing to gain Only here for a while before winters reign Flowers, trees, grasses, all will live their last life Before the harsh cold forces them to hide out of sight The autumns glorious light rays of lasting sun Bringing light through dark, until winters done It serves as a beacon, all living’s ray of hope That they will get through this, sleet and snow I sit on the ground, warmth, and feel how intense My hope winter won’t come, my own little pretense Every year its this single season I look forward to, I don’t need a reason Autumn has come, everything is right Flowers prepare to burrow in soil Some time of peace before winters fight Some like spring or summer But to my season I am always loyal. |
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| © Copyright 2006 rhia_5779 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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oh_my_goshijustgotexcited Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 52USA, IDAHO |
i thought the last stanza was a bit mixed up with the rhyming...it was a different scheme than your other stanzas..i think! -later Viola |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
ok, why do people always say they don't like their poems???omg, i do that too!!=/ woops!!!lol..i loved this poem, i think it was great. the only thing that varied a little was the way you wrote it. Hmm, there wasn't a rhyme in the first stanza, then there was a rhyme in the last two lines of the second..then there was some of the stanzas that had ryhmes every line.. but i guess we all do that..thats defiantly the only thing i saw. im not good at critique!!im sorry, if i hadn't read you encourage constructive critique, i never would've said that, cause honestly, i don't care how people decide to write their poems, i like them to be unique. I love this, hope you post more soon!!=) love, -missy |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
ok, im defiantly stupid, i totally missed the rhyme in the first stanza...lol.woops, told you i was bad at critique... ~missy |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
thats ok |
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