»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
Feelings
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
Feelings |
|
|
mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
I wrote a poem trying to reflect the feelings of my future step-mom... I don't know how great it is, kinda a quick write. Let me know what you think... love you all!! Long distance phone calls And lengthy emails I know that I love you But sometimes its too much... As I look into your eyes I lose myself How can this be right? A love, full of goodbyes... The kids asleep in the other room You, breathing next to me A love that seems so perfect Yet we're always far away... I hold your hand in mine I know that its right One day we'll be together A big happy family... A daughter who never knew her dad You fill the empty space Look into her eyes And you'll see it too... She needs you now Forever, for always Your the best thing To happen in a long time... Two girls of yours Sweet, yet sensitive Jealous that their father Could love someone else... Sometimes I believe I've done more harm then good Was this a mistake? Is there room for us here?... I need you to reasure me To look into my eyes Tell me that you love me That there's room left inside... Show me that you need me And tell me everyday I just want to be wanted To be loved, to be happy... |
||
| © Copyright 2006 Michelle Elizabeth Goodman - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
oh_my_goshijustgotexcited Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 52USA, IDAHO |
very very very good poem! i thought it could have flowed slightly better, but very good job! thanks for posting, and post again soon! Viola |
||
|
broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
i thought this was a good poem.... Great Job! "in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop" |
||
|
mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Thanks, I know what you mean about flowing better, but like I said, it was a very quick write. I'm talking ten minutes. LOL thanks for the replies!!! Tons of love!!! Michelle |
||
|
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey mgoodman, I liked this poem! Not one of my top ten favorites by you but it was still a great poem, and I feel that if you spent a little more time on this it could become more amazing than it already is, for how long you took to write it. "I need you to reasure me To look into my eyes Tell me that you love me That there's room left inside... Show me that you need me And tell me everyday I just want to be wanted To be loved, to be happy..." My favorite part, I believe that everyone could relate to this, because we all want someone to love us. Very nicely written! Thanks for sharing! Umm... I hope everything turns out well for you and your new step-mom. I can't wait to read more  @-->--- |
||
|
mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Thanks everyone! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
