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Teen Poetry #7
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You don't notice me anymore
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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You don't notice me anymore |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
You Don't Notice Me Anymore through the cracks of your gaze I’ve seen candlelight fades licking like a flaming tongue ashes and smoke there was the absence of rainbow, but a fog hangs it girded me lacy sash of vapors as a parched desert, it didn’t make much difference i've fallen to the shadows. |
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| © Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey cherrys_rule,girded me Great poem! Not my favorite, favorite, by you, but I loved reading this. The word choices are what really got me though, how you used "vapors" and "girded". These are not words you see much now days, it's nice to see them in this though... "I’ve seen candlelight fades licking like a flaming tongue ashes and smoke there was the absence" I loved this part, comparisons to fire are always a favorite of mine. I must be a pyro... lol Thanks for sharing  @-->--- |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
thats ok stargal, i think it adds to the poem using fire also. but very good poem, i loved your choice of words i think that was amazing, nice imagery |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
Thanks you two. I was just really bored that day. So i decided to go back time and pick out words from the past. |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
hey i really liked this poem nice write! Great Job! "in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop" |
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