Teen Poetry #7 |
love |
broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
the feeling I can't explain is with me every day I love you more then words could ever begin to say I can't express my feelings but I know I will try I’ve never told you how I feel I guess I try to hide to hide my love for you I’m scared you will laugh tell me I’m just crazy just for thinking like that you would never love me I know that is true I’ve been hurt before I don’t want to be hurt by you so I’ll keep it to myself the words I dare not say to hide my true feelings from the world each and every day "in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop" |
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© Copyright 2006 Miranda Nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
I really like this one... But I wouldn't keep everthing inside, I'm a very outspoken person. Sometimes it's good to tell someone that you love them, tell that person what your feeling and I'm sure they'll listeen to you. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"I’ve been hurt before I don’t want to be hurt by you so I’ll keep it to myself the words I dare not say to hide my true feelings from the world each and every day" This is one of my favorite parts in the whole poem! Yet, all in all, I liked all of it, I can relate so well to everything written in this that it is kind of scary, cause im quiet and I like to keep my feelings to myself, scared of being laughed at... Like everything you wrote was me, yet, not exactly me? I don't know what I'm talking about... Umm... The only thing I would suggest is that you go back and re-read this poem. As you might see, or it's just me, some of the sentences need an extra word or word removed to make them make sense. The sentences are sometimes confusing in the wording, but that could be me again... Great job on this poem, it was such a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing @-->--- |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
thank you for your comments! "in a world of cheerios, be a fruit loop" |
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