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Teen Poetry #7
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cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442


0 posted 2006-07-21 09:03 PM


I wrote this knowing my faith In the Man up stairs is coming back down soon. So I took everything I know and put it this simple poem. Tell me what you think. I know it's short, but I'm hoping I will be able to add on to it. If you have any suggestions, my ears are opened.
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Love is from above... Hell is like a bell, it ehcoes in your ears. But you don't want it to be your fears. God will help you through, through thick and thin. He promised you, that He'll come back down again.

[This message has been edited by cherrys_rule (07-22-2006 09:20 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 cherrys_rule - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-07-23 12:26 PM


Umm, I’m not sure, to me this is just talking, kind of a narrator talking this without much emotion, no offence…
I kind of liked it though, the first line mostly, it was neat to read about hell being like a bell, nothing I’ve really thought about before but it does make you think…

As for adding on? I don’t know, I’d have to give that some thought, and what exactly are you looking for to add on?

Sorry, I’m not much help… I’d like to see what you do with the finished product though, I hope you’ll post it online for everyone to enjoy.

Thanks for sharing

@-->---

cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

2 posted 2006-07-23 01:07 PM


Yeah I'm hoping to add on to it. But I have so many other poems to work on. But one day I will and you'll see it back up.
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