Teen Poetry #7 |
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Through My Eyes |
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thrumyeyes05 New Member
since 2006-06-29
Posts 1Pa |
Through my eyes All is dizzy The world is grey And all are busy Am I lost Or right on track It seems everyone else Knows what I lack Why do they tell me I couldn't know whats right Only I live in my mind Only I see with my sight I can't stop wondering If they truely understand They why are they worse off than I am I just wrote it yesterday when I signed up so it still needs work but I thought I'd share. My poems are just thoughts and in my mind my thoughts need no punctuation. |
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© Copyright 2006 Mandi M - All Rights Reserved | |||
bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
hey great first post! The second to last line you you mean then instead of they? anyways i could relate to the last stanza and i like this alot. great! |
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Ringo![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!! ![]() Please check your e-mail for a special greeting. "... the rest is silence" |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Through my eyes All is dizzy The world is grey And all are busy Am I lost Or right on track It seems everyone else Knows what I lack" Wow... I loved these first few stanzas, they fit together just right and yet were unique in their own way. I liked the first stanza because I also can perceive the world in such a fashion. The second stanza i liked because I always wonder how everyone can see my flaws, or at least I think they can, and yet not my good stuff, whatever that is ![]() Welcome to pip! I hope you like the site I know I have... I can't wait to see more of your work in the near future, until than keep writing/posting I will keep an eye out for more from you! @-->--- |
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latteaddict213![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
Welcome to piptalk! Great first post! I really like how all your stanzas flow so well together. They all fit perfect in your poem. I agree with bekahlekah45 theat 'they' was supposed to be 'then'. I enjoyed this. Hope to read more of your work in the near future. Once again, welcome. Jessica |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
ok.. this was a GREAT first post. It sounds kind of similar to something I would write. Then next to last line I think you meant then instead of they. The word truley should be truely. Other than that.. i LOVED this.. WELCOME to PipTalk.. I hope you enjoy the site. I look forward to reading more of your poetry. ![]() ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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