Teen Poetry #7 |
havent posted for a long time...so this is rough |
spaz02 Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74USA |
No Title You know how when your tearsfeel frozen, like they just won't come out as if they are stuck in your eyes and just won't fall You know how you just feel so angry and locked up, but it's only because you put yourself in that position and won't tell anyone You know how you hate to talk, or you fear asking a question because it might start a conversation and you don't want anything like feelings or emotions to leak out You know how when you know know excatly what you want to say but can't find the right words, and then by the time you do the perfect moment to say it just passed by or if you do get to say what you wanted to you wish you could take back what you said because you let them into your thoughts and you didn't want them to know You know how when you just want to cry so bad because of all the confusion and anger you have inside but then you just hold it in so that no one will ask you what is wrong because you know you will have to talk about it and don't want to or you are just not ready to but then wonder if you will ever be ready You know how when they try to talk to you and even if it is a good thing you get all offended and snap back rudly or with resentment all just because you don't want to talk or be in a conversation You know how you think those little thoughts that are actually huge but they seem small to you You know how those little actions trigger a big mistake and then the gun goes off and there is nothing you can do to take it back You know how they don't notice that somthing is wrong with you and so it makes you even more angry because they don't notice and as much as you hide and keep to yourself all you really want is for them to notice you falling and help you but are afriad to just come out and speak it because they will use it against you and make you feel even worse or they just won't take it for what it is and make a big deal of it and ask a million questoins you don't feel like answering because you simply don't want to talk about it You know how that somtimes you will mess up on purpose so that maybe just maybe they will notice that you are struggling and need there help You know how when they think that everything is ok and that they are so proud of you and brag about you to everyone but really in the right mind they have not the slightest idea You know how you don't want them to know any of this but then again you want to tell them all of it but you just can't you don't want a conversation you just want them to know how you are feeling and that be the end of it "For every drop of my blood that falls is because of you" ~Spaz02~ |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
I've felt like that before. Like you want to tell out everything without them knowing anything. Or something like that? So you haven't posted in a while? Me either. This post was long. I think it muight have been better if it was sectioned off a little. Could be easier to read and keep your place. I flowed okay. I think it oculd have flown better but I can't really explain how. All in all it was pretty good. Nice write. Jessica |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
Hasn't everyone experienced this moment at some point in their life. I'd have to agree with Latteaddict about the flow and partitioning, but overall it was pretty good. I'll look for more of your work. |
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spaz02 Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74USA |
thanks to both of u 2! i appriciate it...yaa i wanted to section it up but i had no idea how to...but ya every1 goes through it..but its just now hitting me hard so i had to get it out...writing s the only way i can get my emotions out |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
i really liked. it was really ful of emotion. i have that to, most of the time the only way i can get my emotions out is to write, i can rarely just talk about it. |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked this alot.. I agree with the others about it being sectioned off.. it wouldn've been easier to read but I understand what you mean bc this poem has no specific rhythm or flow to it.. but it was really good. The emotions put into this was fantastic.. and yes.. I also agree that everyone goes through this at one point in their life.. great job.. I think there was one or two spelling errors (there close to the end should've been their) Great Write though.. I hope to see more out of you.. ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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