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Teen Poetry #7
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latteaddict213
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since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado

0 posted 2006-03-08 09:01 PM



I was young and foolish,
you took advanage.
I was dumb and curious,
you took advanage.
I was excited and looking for more,
you took advanage.

I was sweet and innocent,
until you took it all away.
I was fun and outgoing,
until you took it all away.
I was loud and rambunctious,
until you took it all away.

I should look on the bright side,
but where is that?
I should think of the other good things in my life,
but what are they?
I should listen to all of the advice i've been given.
but why whats the point?

That night you showed up changed my life forever. I was never will be the same.
You changed me for life.
I hope your happy.


           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

[This message has been edited by latteaddict213 (03-08-2006 10:09 PM).]

© Copyright 2006 Jessica - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-03-08 09:22 PM


Hey,

I’m not sure if I have told you the thing about spelling before, but keep it in mind…
And if this is getting annoying, me bugging you about it, feel free and tell me!
I’m just a spelling freak

I really like your poem though, I think it expresses the way a lot of girls, and even boys, feel. I know that even a kiss can make you feel like you have lost something forever! Most people think,”hey, it’s just a kiss!”, but it can be so much more than that…. Enough of the lecture though!

Good job, I’m glad someone found a way to put these emotions into words.
I look forward to reading more

Thanks for sharing with me

@-->---

latteaddict213
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2 posted 2006-03-08 09:29 PM


your welcome, i think. i typed this up really quickly and didnt even think about speeling. i'll change it. thanx 4 telling me. i dont mind at all reall yi like that you tell me that i cant spell worth a darn. thanx again.

           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

[This message has been edited by SEA (03-24-2006 10:04 AM).]

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-03-08 09:38 PM


Omgosh! I hope i did not give the idea you were spelling like crap. What i mean to convey is that sometimes words that are not spelled correctly make a reader pause, trying to figure out what the word really is.
And personally i don't like pausing to read the first time, or the second, or the third! Mostly the first time because i'm trying to get an insight to where the poem will go.
You are most likely to be an exellent speller, you just are in a rush to put down your thoughts before you lose them! I so understand that!

I must sound like an arrogant fool! i apologize for anything i said you might have taken offence too.

@-->---

latteaddict213
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4 posted 2006-03-08 10:06 PM


ooh.no. not at all. I think that i spell bad. I do. maybe you do too, but I think that I spell like crap. sorry if if I made you think that.


I think I fixed all the spelling errors


           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

[This message has been edited by latteaddict213 (03-09-2006 09:29 AM).]

ShelbyLynn13
Member
since 2006-02-15
Posts 73
US, Colorodo
5 posted 2006-03-23 05:11 PM


well you do have a few spelling errors but i was wondering if you could tell me what this poem actualy is about cause i am not realy sure if i am getting the write message and did that realy happen to you?

every one is special in their own  way!!!

latteaddict213
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since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
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6 posted 2006-03-23 07:01 PM


uhhh. i dont know how to answer your question. its kinda about being taken advange when your "young and foolish". and it has a little about rape and sexual assult. it hasn't happend to me, but to a VERY close friend. does that help?

           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

spaz02
Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74
USA
7 posted 2006-06-24 08:58 PM


i like this..i can relate to it..it gave me a good feeling to know that other ppl understand how it is...ur spelling doesnt bother me..i kno how it is wen u type fast..
bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

8 posted 2006-06-24 09:23 PM


this is a good poem.  I didn't read all the feedback from everyone but the o nly thing i would do is change the title maybe.  idk i mean it fits idk...dont listen to me its just my opinion.
well i liked this : )

latteaddict213
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since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
9 posted 2006-06-24 10:14 PM


Thanks. Yeah I tried to spell it all correctly but I was pressed for time. Hey bekahlekah45, What do you think I should rename it?

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
10 posted 2006-06-24 11:37 PM


Hey Jessica, it's been a while since I saw any of your poems on here. Great job.. I really loved this poem.. I can see how many poeple can relate..

keep it up..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

Poetic Concept
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 66
God's Fingerprint
11 posted 2006-06-25 04:21 PM


SP (Advantage)

Anyways I thought this was good...interesting enough I do not always like cliche topics but this poem had a flare to it I dont know where it came from but I liked this nonetheless...good work...elevation is the key...

Return the Favor on: Dreams of a Vet

"How vain it is to sit down and write when u have not stood up to live"
                     Anonymous (Unknown)

bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

12 posted 2006-06-25 04:25 PM


I'm not sure.  I read it like 3 times and i don't know.  You see the reason I have trouble trying to think of title's for other peoples is this: when I title mine, it comes from a more personal level of me. Like yeah that sounds lame but really, I think of a word or a couple words that really really sums the poem up but yet expressed what i'm feeling or the point i'm trying to get across.  If you like the title as is, don't change it.  don't let my opinion influence your decision.  I was statin what i though

Good write.  I really enjoyed this.  I especially enjoyed it the 3rd time i read it lol.  And i really can relate to it so good job.

latteaddict213
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since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
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13 posted 2006-06-25 10:34 PM


Thanks, to all of you who replied. I posted this a while ago and I was supprised when I got the little e-mail saying some one responded. I'm glad people are looking at old stuff. Just remember to also look at the new stuff. I'll look at your poem. That's okay that you can't think of a title. I named it "I" 'cause thats the word thats in it the most. I really value your opinin. Thanks again.

               Jessica

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