I realized...I Love You - pipTalk Forums

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pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

0 posted 2006-06-14 08:26 PM

I thought about our situation
It took a lot of concentration
And I realized that...
I love you

I need you
I want to be there for you
Why don’t you need me?
Why don’t you want to be there for me?
Why don’t you love me?
I love you.

Yeah, you’re going to another school.
Love and Fate have become both cruel.
At the exact second I realized...
I love you.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-06-14 09:04 PM

Well, not one of my favorites by you as of yet, but I still liked it. I loved the first stanza, the whole poem started out strong with that as the beginning.

The second stanza I wasn’t that crazy about, I thought it was a little bit to repetitive for me… well, not repetitive, I just didn’t feel like it had the same quality as the first and last stanza in this poem, no offence.

I liked the last stanza for the line about how love and fate had become cruel, cause I can relate to that in different ways, and I just liked the pictures it brought to mind when I read it. It had very nice imagery for me…

Anyway, thanks for sharing your poem with me, I really liked it

@-->---

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

2 posted 2006-06-15 09:22 AM

Thanks! I look forward to reading more of your poems, stargal!

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

3 posted 2006-06-18 06:54 PM

I can really relate to this one b/c that's my situation right now with a guy that I like, but he's in love with me. But I really like this poem/ writing.

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

4 posted 2006-06-22 01:11 AM

first two lines i liked but the second stanza wasnt as strong i liked the concept of the love and fate line but dont like the wording to it but... thats just me

SENIOR 06'

aol sn- tearsoflove13762

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

5 posted 2006-07-06 02:43 PM

i can really relate to this! keep it up!

<3Erin

myspace username-beautiful_tragidy
I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

6 posted 2006-07-06 11:26 PM

I can also relate to this.. good job.. it's like right after someone walks away you realize how much they really meant to you.. great job..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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