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Teen Poetry #7
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a touch
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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a touch |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN 
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A touch I've got sketches of you scattered around this empty room. each picutre is in a different stage of beautiful development. my last love was all too happy to crush me at every turn. i screamed "leave me alone!" she would reply "you already are." those cold, but true words penetrated so deeply, through my skin, into my heart. they slowed my pulse to a crawl clogging blood flow and stopping all feeling. i was comatose, dead to the emotion that was so full in the past. then, Sweet Salvation! you came, full of wonders and love. the words you spoke healed my wounds and had my heart beating faster than ever. now i do know emotion, i know feeling, it carries me away so often, i look forward to it. though you are not here physically, im recalling memories of yesterday. these half-finished portraits disgrace the beauty you posses and bring. im holding onto the hope of a touch, a brush of your soft hand. thank you for showing me that dreams can come true, hope does exist, that love does prevail. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Astro Member
since 2003-01-08
Posts 69Ca. |
Keep writing. You have a lot of talent. Many love poems sound like a Hallmark card; yours is more gritty. I like. Still, I have to question: is love all about emotion? That's what the poem seems to suggest. If that's the case, the priority in the relationship is not on individuals, but on feelings. Any thoughts? Sight is an always awful beginning |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
i think love is not based on emotion, even though this poem does suggest that. i believe it to be based on a deep concern for the well-being of someone else. obviously its impossible to put love into words, but i believe that actions speak louder than words anyway. -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
say what???? |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Great work! I could really relate to what you were saying. This one is goin' my library!  Once again, great work! ~Jess  "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hmm..nice. i liked it =) -bergundy- "Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man) |
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