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Teen Poetry #7
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When you see me
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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When you see me |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
When You See Me.... This is just a song type thing I wrote today while bored at work, it's only 2 verses right now, not quite done but wanted to get some feedback before I went any further, it's called "When You see me" so here it is: When you see me, Don't smile and wave I got no social skills, so I don't know how to behave Who knows I might slap you with an open hand Drop to your knees and I'll say "Who's the man?" Or I could walk up and Say Nice to meet ya Piss on your leg as my way to greet ya But aside from that, I'm not all that bad Don't piss me off you wouldn't like me when I'm mad If your cool though, you won't get all buddy buddy with me Cause that's how we end up like Tupac and Biggie You see there's 10 rules to survivin in this game Rule Number one, get caught for anything don't mention my name Rule Number two, I've got your back if you've got mine So don't even think of pullin out a nine and shootin me in the spine That'd be like you signing your own death wish If I HAD a crew, they'd come for you quick Then you'd have to run and hide Cause you'd be worth more dead than alive But if you did turn on me you'd be pretty lucky I don't got a crew, just a guard dog named Lassy Rule 3 through 10 are simply irrelevant I'm only writin this to make Dead Presidents All I ask is that your down for me So don't approach or come close, when you see me... If you don't know me, Don't come say Hi I'll murder you first, then think of an alibi Don't believe me, then just test me All you gotta do is press up against me Got Beef? Then here's how you find me Look for a blue 2003, Honda Civic..SI-G With Dark tinted windows, a Rattling trunk And clouds of smoke that smell similar to a skunk That right there is like a treasure map If you can't find me, then I can't Rap And if you do know where to go I'll be waiting, at a place called Winslow There you can come at me and then I'll know Your acting tough like Ja Rule down with Deathrow Except I won't be dressed like the greatest Rapper If Ja's got a problem with this then I'll slap her And with that you know what I'm implyin' What's Ja tryin, he's not a man, he's lyin Can you believe you wasted your money on this Go get a refund and spend it trying to see Kiss Cause the more and more you listen to this, the more you can't resist And you'll be fiendin for my hits like that bunny after trix So go and be whatever you wanna be Just leave me alone when you see me.... [This message has been edited by ShadyMakaveli (10-27-2003 12:52 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 ShadyMakaveli - All Rights Reserved | |||
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
ummm, slippity slip sticks and beanie ding ding dongs |
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lauren03 Member
since 2002-01-04
Posts 64oh, usa |
um.... let me tell you the whole rap thing is cool but what your talkin about ain't. the flow is cool but what your talking about is soooo old and sooo played out, i think you need to be more original. the way you make yourself out to be is independant and different so be different don't be like everyone else........ -lauren |
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kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
it's cool, it's got a nice flow, but i see much influence from 'pac. it's good to emulate other great writers, but you gotta find your own voice. i'm not saying this because the things i write are great, in fact, they're not, i'm just saying this because i see that you're going through the same thing i am. trying to find your voice when living in the shadow of many great rappers. keep at it though, because in my humble opinion, i see great promise. |
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duncan idaho Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70dune |
That right there is like a treasure map If you can't find me, then I can't Rap that line sucks so bad that it made me cry. why not just write a short story instead of sending us this "life of an *******" poem. |
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UnsilencedWords666 Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63Broken Memories & Falling Tears |
Persoanlly I really liked it, but i'm also a big west coast/east coast rap supporter...so al the 'pac influence definitly caught my eye...keep up the good work, you got flow.... *~*Nessa Bear*~* You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~* |
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